Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

 

As we entered phase four of the MCU and started getting second (third?) tier superheroes that the majority have never heard of, both Marvel and Disney still managed to conjure up yet another overblown obvious CGI/bluescreen filled hodgepodge that felt no different from most of their other offerings. I was shocked! (I wasn't shocked).

So Shaun leads a secret double life if you will, as beneath his humble geeky exterior lies the son of a powerful overlord with God-like powers who runs the Ten Rings organisation. Said God-like powers come from the mysterious ten rings which bestow all the usual stuff like immortality on whoever owns them. Where do the rings come from? Don't know. Who made them? Don't know. Where do their powers come from? Don't know. How has no other Avenger thought to find these up till now? Don't know. How have these things not been mentioned until now? Don't know. Cue lots of family angst, mcguffins aplenty, a generic stage-by-stage mission leading to the big CGI finale, and of course lots of martial arts...because Chinese people!

Yep, for a movie made in this politically correct era I was actually pretty surprised at how many stereotypical Far Eastern tropes there were here. They're all here, dragons, Chinese lions, every single person being able to do martial arts, primitive rural little villages that seemingly spend all day training in martial arts, temples, wise old male Mr. Miyagi type characters etc...I mean I get it's supposed to be based around ancient Chinese culture so that kinda means you gotta have things like I guess, but I'm still surprised that it wasn't picked up on considering when this was made.

But whilst this movie did look admittedly sumptuous, it also looked like every other mystical fantasy historical flick based in Asia that I've ever seen and offered nothing new at all. The whole thing was so visually predictable and cliche Jesus! The entire thing was just a big trope, I felt like I was watching a PG version of Mortal Kombat it was so cheesy. And despite everything generally looking very nice, you still can't escape the nasty obvious looking CGI that we've come to expect within Marvel movies. These effects can range from grounded and cool-looking to plastic and fake-looking in the blink of an eye.

Another problem with these Marvel movies is the fact there doesn't really seem to be any actual stakes at hand. There is never a time when I actually felt worried or on the edge of my seat because I know very well no one of importance will die (and even if they do chances are they'll come back anyway). The whole thing feels so very safe, devoid of any real grit. Case in point, the forest that contained the maze to the entrance Ta Lo which supposedly ''eats people'', well it doesn't. In fact I'm not really sure what the threat was there, the trees just moved and covered your tracks so you would get lost? In the end the heroes just drove through the trees so it didn't seem like they were much of a threat after all.

Basically, for a movie that was supposed to be a kind of break from the norm offering muh diversity and a fresh outlook, it all seemed very by the numbers to me. The main character is of course perfect and invincible offering more powers that seemingly can't be matched by anyone else (especially characters like Black Widow who is merely a regular woman with no powers at all). Not sure how Simu Liu got the part seeing as he's the most generic looking guy I've seen in a blockbuster for some time. Cut n paste Asian guy number #5. ''Aquafina'' or whatever her stupid chosen name is, is predictably annoying and merely offers up stupid lines of so-called comedy. Tony Leung as Wenwu, the main antagonist, looked more like a mild-mannered middle-aged CEO than the leader of a massive criminal organisation. I also found his conflict between finding his wife (known to be dead) in Ta Lo, which is obviously a ruse, and his children rather tepid and forced . A lame attempt at some real emotion within this rather silly and childish comicbook flick.

There are lots of fisticuffs involving throwing people around a lot and getting slammed into the ground which usually gets zero results for anyone. And of course there are plenty of hideous hip-hop tunes because of course there is, modern youth culture. I'm still not sure why the character of Trevor returned here either. What was the point of that? He literally did nothing and offered nothing other than a small moment of continuity from the 'Iron Man' movies. 

Heck, this could have been a neat 'Big Trouble in Little China' type adventure, especially given all the Marvel quirks and comedy that has been its staple for some time now. But alas this is just another limp bland Marvel action & magic flick that feels like a generic brand action figure run at this point. Yes it looks pretty but that's it! There is nothing much here that I really haven't seen before in a multitude of other similar romps (including John Carpenter's 'Big Trouble' which is infinitely better in every aspect). This is the epitome of cookie-cutter or factory product line entertainment.

5/10

The Island at the Top of the World (1974)

 

The cool Disney adventure you probably never heard of (because it was essentially a '20,000 Leagues Under the Sea' clone that failed at the box office).

Yes another literary adaptation surrounding a tale that is very much in the same realm as Jules Verne. Initially set in England 1907, wealthy aristocrat Sir Anthony Ross sets out to find his long lost son who went off into the wild blue yonder of the Artic searching for a mystical fabled island. He hires the help of a French aeronaut who has recently invented and built a dirigible and off they sail! Destination: The Unknown! 

Classic boys own adventure type stuff I'm sure you'll agree. Very much in the same vein as many many other adventure yarns that involve mysterious islands or lands lost to time that are either underground or beneath the sea or in a specific location etc...And in all honesty I'm sure you've all seen this type of thing before many many times. As mentioned this does indeed feel very much like a 'Leagues' clone and that is ultimately its downfall for me. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it but it plays out predictably with all your typical cliches, tropes, and results. It feels a bit too ''off the fantasy production line'' if you get me. A bit too generic despite being a big Disney project.

I think the one thing this movie offers originality wise is the fact the lost land and people are Norsemen. An artic island hidden by convenient clouds that in turn also hides a lush Nordic town with lots of blonde Vikings complete with long boats and horned helmets. Usually these flicks offer prehistoric tribes or made-up barbarian-type folk with the odd monsters. Nope, this time it's legit based on real people with real references to their culture and Gods etc...No monsters or oversized lizards this time. Heck the main antagonist is merely the local witch hunter-type fella, a religious zealot.

With '20,000 Leagues Under the Sea' the main hook or merchandise factor was the Nautilus submarine, with this movie it was the Hyperion dirigible. The latter was intended to become the next big thing for Disney, an iconic symbol they would use to across all their gear including their famous parks. Can't say I blamed them either, wicked design, striking with a nice realistic x steampunk vibe. This thing dominates the early part of the movie and should have had more screen time for in-depth exploration. Alas this dirigible is all this movie offers really, at least in terms of appealing fantasy visuals. Don't get me wrong the rest of the movie is packed with effects but they're all your standard generic rear screen projection type affairs (that have aged really badly) with the odd glorious matte painting (but so glorious!).

The casting says it all really, if you ask me. Just look at the lead, Donald Sinden as Sir Anthony Ross. Now I know nothing of this actor and nothing against him but this was clearly a James Mason wannabe for Disney. The similarities are hilariously blatantly obvious from his beard, his elocution, right down to his attire. The rest of the team are actors I haven't really heard of apart from Mako and Jacques Marin who popped up in a few other lower-tier Disney kid's flicks. I think that was a big problem for Disney with this movie, no big stars, or at least no big star for either the main role or villain role. And that's it in a nutshell really, a nice family adventure, perfectly fine, nice and safe, but no where near as good as 'Leagues'. A poor mans 'Leagues' if I'm gonna be really truthful, but still worth seeing if you're into this type of fantasy yarn.

 

6/10