65 (2023)

 

So first off, stupid title for a movie, and a lost opportunity to boot! What we have here is a cute little story that could have been plucked straight out of the classic TV show 'The Twilight Zone'. The title refers to the fact that the plot is based 65 million years ago in Earth's history. You think it might be a tale from the future but no, and there's the rub. They could have made this into a neat little moment where we the audience suddenly gets the message that the story is actually about Earth, the monsters are actually dinosaurs, and this all happened way way back in time. They could of had a really good eye-opening moment in this movie for first-time viewers, something a bit unique. Of course this revelation wouldn't have lasted over time but it still could have been a thing reflecting positively on the movie.

So 65 million years ago space alien Mills crash lands on the mysterious planet Earth. His entire crew has been killed apart from one little girl. Together they must try to survive this new planets harsh monster-filled environment and find a lost escape pod. Even worse, Mills discovers that this planet is due to get obliterated by a massive incoming asteroid which appears to be on a collision course. Talk about bad luck and having a bad day!

So many questions! So Mills has a daughter back on his home planet who is very sick and this is why he decides to take this long workload in space to earn money to help her. Unless I missed it, what exactly was this long tour in space he was doing? Mining? Transportation? His ship has a crew which are in hypersleep, but why? How long have they been out in deep space? Why does he need such a big crew? And why did the crew include this little girl and how come this little girl can't speak his language?? Also, why can't Mills speak her language?? I assume this race are much like Humans with different groups of people that speak various languages? But wait, are they actually supposed to be Humans?

I also found it rather stupid that the little girl initially runs away from Mills upon discovery. This just came across like a really annoying trope in my opinion. Why would she run away? Yeah sure I get that she's scared but Jesus Christ use your brains a bit kid. You're crashed on a dangerous alien planet and the adult pilot is your only hope, maybe stick with him and don't be such a moron?

Now I get that Mills has many important things on his mind when he ends up crashing on Earth, but surely he would be in absolute awe at the fact he's crashed on a planet with a breathable atmosphere and is teeming with life?! Yes I get that his life is in danger and he wants to get home but surely he would be maybe trying to record some information about this wonderful new planet. Yes it's a dangerous planet but look at the lifeforms! Look at the plant life! I just think the character of Mills needed to be shown to acknowledge the fact he landed on such a lush vibrant planet. 

There were other aspects that found to be rather silly. Mills futuristic weapon looked very cool and all but boy did it take a long time to run out of 'ammo'. Not too sure what it supposed to be, obviously very hi-tech futuristic don't question it type technology with lots of flashy lights, and it had some good batteries in it. Also, the way Mills manages to kill off one of the apex dinosaur predators with a geyser? I mean, yeah sure but...I don't think that would kill the dinosaur so quickly and violently and there was hilariously zero splash back on Mills apparently. On a quick note, didn't the asteroid that killed off the dinosaurs hit the sea? In this movie it seems to show hitting land.

So I did quite enjoy this silly sci-fi romp as it did indeed remind me of that classic black and white Rod Serling show. The plot is easygoing and engaging whilst at the same time actually being somewhat more effective than another Steven Spielberg related dinosaur franchise. The dinosaurs here actually come across threatening and unpredictable plus they are kept somewhat hidden which does add to the atmosphere. I did have to keep reminding myself that the characters are on Earth. Unfortunately just like that other dinosaur franchise this movie also resorts to using large apex predators for the big finale which now feels rather cliched and boring as it's been done to death. Heck they even used similar epic-like shots with the dinosaurs. 

Good CGI and visuals across the board though, it all looked highly effective and authentic. The technology presented was nicely done with some solid concepts. Lots of nice CGI HUD displays, lots of nice scenery clearly boosted with CGI, and the dinosaurs all looked excellent.

Overall this movie does work and keeps you engaged. Plenty of opportunities for a better movie for sure. The plot is sketchy but intriguing, and in the end I did end up feeling sorry for the dinosaurs as we see the inevitable unfold. It was actually quite a sombre moment as I watched my home planet take its massive asteroid hit, killing off almost all life, whilst Mills rockets off back into deep space. There was something kinda sad about that, in that moment I really wanted this story to be true, I wanted this history to be real. It also kinda left me wanting a sequel to see more, dunno why really, I guess the story got to me.

6.5/10

Transformers One (2024)

 

So I thought this was a reboot of the disastrous Michael Bay live-action flicks (after the last movie finally flopped), but low and behold this animated kids flick is actually a prequel (yes prequel) to the entire franchise! This is the origins tale of all the classic characters that originated on Cybertron, in animated CGI form, for kids, that apparently leads into the Bayformer movies. Get your head around that!

Now I'm no Transformers expert, but I did grow up with the franchise through the 80's and have a basic idea of the lore. This new movie is essentially its own thing; it's not based on any comicbook origins storyline or the origin animated series etc...It appears to be a bit of a mish-mash of various ideas woven into this unique entry. Is that bad? No not really, Transformers tends to be flexible with its origins tales and generally all routes follow a similar path. 

The story is set billions of years before the events of the live-action movies and essentially explores how Orion Pax and D-16 go from friends to becoming the legendary Optimus Prime and Megatron. In this new lore both robots are energon miners who are unable to transform. After finding a chip containing a distress message from Alpha Trion (one of the first Cybertronians), Pax, D-16, Elita-1, and B-127 (all energon miners) find their way to the surface of the planet only to discover that their current leader Sentinel Prime is a traitor and cahoots with their enemies the Quintessons. Sentinel Prime is giving up energon to the Quintessons whilst stopping its natural flow on Cybertron. They also discover that Sentinel Prime created the subrace of miners by having their transformation cogs removed before being brought online. Now, along with help from another rebel faction, the lowly miners must try to expose Sentinel Prime to the masses.

One of the big problems with this iteration of the Transformers lore is the fact that this movie doesn't really explain everything for the viewer. For example, I know about the Quintessons, but this movie doesn't explain anything. There is no explanation as to who or what they are, what they want, why they need energon, where they come from etc...For people not in the know it will seem a bit sketchy. There are also some things which I didn't quite get myself. Why would Cybertron have robotic wild deer-like lifeforms on the surface? Seems totally nonsensical when you think about it. What was happening on the Cybertronian surface? It looked like the surface was shapeshifting? Why are Prime robots so big and all other regular robots so small? Why do robots grow in size simply by having their transformer cog inserted? Why are they small without it? Etc...

I also had a bit of an issue with the start of the plot when Pax and D-16 enter this moral-boosting race for all transforming robots (transforming robots can transform into vehicles). Both of them illegally enter this race using jetpacks to compete. But the stupid thing is why the race was allowed to continue the minute they were both discovered (which was straight away). Surely the race would have been stopped, but oh no it carries on with these two fools literally running and jumping their way across the course. I get its a young persons movie but this was just too dumb and really kicked off the movie in a childish way, strange too considering the rest of the story is actually quite sensible.

Aside from the plot the movie looks pretty solid despite the character designs being something of a hodge-podge. Whilst some characters are clearly recognisable from the G1 era, others not so much, whilst some are clearly (unfortunately) based on the Bay movies. Why Bumblebee has to have that crappy neo-Bayverse design I don't know. Of course the various vehicle transformations are different to the Earth bound designs and for the most part they suffice. Cybertron looks as you would expect and, alas, showcases nothing much in terms of originality. Think basically along the lines of Coruscant and you're there. I didn't understand how their trains worked with the tracks that just materialise out of thin air in front of the moving train. There is still the issue of battling Transformers looking way too kinetic and messy when in full flow. Its not as bad as the live-action movies but it can still be hard to follow.

The character growth between Pax and D-16 is definitely a well worked highlight of this young persons movie. We see this duo go from being strong friends as humble miners, to friends fighting together, to friends torn apart by truth and anger. Pax starts out as the energetic risk-taking rebellious type who doesn't think too much about consequences; where as D-16 is much more careful, a thinker, not wanting to rock the boat or cause any trouble. As the plot evolves Pax becomes more of a strategic leader whilst D-16 is slowly consumed with anger over the treason committed by Sentinel Prime. We also see the formation of what will become the Autobots and the Decepticons, the latter ironically starting out as rebel fighters against Sentinel Prime and helping Pax and co. Add to that the voice acting for both characters isn't too bad either. Chris Hemsworth pulling off a pretty decent Peter Cullen-esque young Prime voice towards the end.

I didn't have my hopes up too high for this I gotta be honest. Just going by the visuals alone this looked childish (think of the various animated Star Wars ventures we've seen recently). I had no confidence in this at all and after the first 30 minutes or so I thought my fears had been confirmed. But wait! In a glorious turnaround this movie does actually get much better quite rapidly. Aside from some design choices and the silly moments of Pixar-esque humour the plot does start to solidify and engage you. I found myself rooting for both Pax and D-16 (more so D-16 actually) with everything coming together nicely to form a pretty good origins tale of rebellion. There's nothing overly original here, rebelling against a system, friends who become enemies etc...It's all a bit cliche admittedly but it was enjoyable.

6.5/10

West Side Story (2021)

When it comes to remakes one really shouldn't try to compare the newer version with the older version. In theory the newer version should be able to stand on its own as a solid film without having to rely on the older version; and if this has been accomplished then a reviewer shouldn't need to go back and compare the two. However, in most cases unfortunately this is very difficult and rarely occurs, and this is one such example where a comparison simply cannot be avoided.

I think everyone knows the story of this musical by now. A story inspired by William Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' and originally conceived by Jerome Robbins for the theatre/Broadway. A tale of rival street gangs vying for control of New York Cities multicultural Upper West Side in the 1950's. A tragic love story set against the backdrop of cultural differences, integration, racism, gang warfare, friendship etc...all blended with fantastic song and dance. 

So what have we actually got here? Everyone and their dog knows the original 1961 film is an absolute classic and topping it would be virtually impossible. So does this new shiny Steven Spielberg version actually achieve anything other than come across as a weak modern version? Have there been any drastic changes? If so, are they good or bad? Hmmmmmmm.

Yes there are changes, many, and for the most part good, a quick look at some. In this newer version many characters are given a bit more detail into their backgrounds, more fleshed out. Bernardo is shown to have a boxing background with promise of a solid career. He is also seen as a father figure to Maria as well as brother because their parents are absent (their mother having past away and father being in Puerto Rico). Both Maria and Bernardo have a surname now, Vasquez. Chino appears to be more of a closer friend with Bernardo this time around and he seems to be more of a bookish nerd, almost. To me this came across as if the character also had promise of a solid future which in turn would offer Maria a solid future. 

Tony appears to have spent time in prison for gang related violence whilst Riff comes across as a much more uneasy violence prone character, almost like a twitchy Batman villain. In one of the biggest changes I personally didn't like was the removal of Doc and introduction of his widow Valentina (played by original actress Rita Moreno). The only reason for this, in my personal opinion, was to give Moreno a role and of course keep up the more liberal narrative or gender-swapping in films because there was literally no need for this change.

When it comes to the original source material Spielberg gets it right by putting certain songs and sequences back where they belong ('Cool' and 'I Feel Pretty'). On the other hand, in some instances Spielberg changes locations for certain sequences which didn't work for me. The rumble being inside a salt warehouse seemed like an odd choice to me as under a highway felt more urban and gritty. A salt warehouse?? The 'America' dance sequence is now in the streets and looks way too glossy and clean to me. The rooftop in the original felt and looked more like a set sure but it had more of a natural vibe about it; party on the roof instead of a somewhat ridiculous showstopping number in the middle of a busy street. 'Gee Office Krupke' in now inside a police station which felt kinda stupid as they dance around causing chaos and destruction unimpeded. And then there's the sequence where the Jets are squabbling over Riff's new gun, where the hell was that supposed to be? A broken down bridge or pier or something??

Language, language is important right? Well in all his wisdom old Spielbergo thought it prudent to put more Spanish in his version, which is fine, no problem, makes sense. Yet he decided against having English subs for some nonsense woke reasoning (literally). I mean, like I said, more Spanish here makes sense and I'm sure most had no issues with that. But not having English subs for a majority English speaking film going out to English speaking countries? What did he do for non-English and non-Spanish speaking countries? Go watch a film in another language without subs with that woke attitude and see how it works out for you.

Whilst the inclusion of diversity is actually a definite plus for this film because of course you should cast Latino actors here (without heavy makeup) and of course their culture should be seen as much as the other side of the story. There are little moments where the liberal Hollywood folk like to virtue signal. Case in point, in this version the tomboy character 'Anybodys' is now trans, the most obvious case of pandering. When Anita is assaulted by the Jets in Doc's store, the Jets ladies go from being racist to trying to defend Anita in the blink of an eye! This is clearly supposed to be a 'powerful moment' but it comes across as kinda unbelievable and trying to hard to cover all the bases. We then see Valentina storming in and stopping the guys (as Doc did), only to call them rapists, something I don't really think needed to be said, less is more. 

Alas casting wise, in general, I was not a fan. Shockingly Rachel Zegler is actually one of the better casting choices and definitely fits the bill both visually and audibly. I simply cannot fault that choice. Ansel Elgort was a good choice for Tony. David Alvarez was also very good as Bernardo both acting and dancing. I have already mentioned that I think the casting of Moreno was an unnecessary callback and pandering with her character. Virtually everyone else could of been played by any actor really, any number of theatrical folk probably could have done the job. Really have to say that I hated the choice of Mike Faist as Riff, everything about him was, for me, completely off. What was really disappointing was the fact that no members of either gang actually stood out as individuals. In the 61 version all the Jets were clearly unique in casting with their quirks and look. Here the Jets are all just regular White guys! There's no individuality at all! The Sharks fair a bit better with their guys but in general its a glaring miss for me.

Overall I think this entire remake was a miss for me. What could have easily been a an instant classic with all the opportunities for incredibly sumptuous visuals goes begging. Spielberg's vision is bigger on scale and cleans up some things for sure, adds a bit more; but overall it simply doesn't come close to much of the illustrious acclaimed visuals and dance numbers from Robert Wise' version, despite its lack of character detail and politically incorrect moments (eye roll). The 61 version also looks grittier, more grounded, and in my opinion has better location work for the sequences/acts. This new version of course looks very glossy and grand but also too clean and, with many films these days, too fake looking. Whilst the singing and dancing are good, I can't say its better than the 61 version as both approach with different styles. Yes the 61 version can be a bit dated or even kooky at times, but when you look at one of the best sequences in the that version ('Cool' in the multi-storey parking lot) and all the moments of iconic visual glory with the dance routine, this new version just doesn't come close! 

Some parts here are better, some parts aren't. Overall this Spielberg version just isn't as good as the Wise version. This is my personal opinion, but as you all know my opinion is always the right opinion.

5/10