The Return of Captain Nemo (1978)

 

So this is an interesting little nugget I discovered whilst reading about other similar themed movies of yore. A long lost adventure sequel of sorts about Captain Nemo set in the future of 1978 (the same year the movie was made). I knew I had to see this.

Upon a little more research, I also discovered that this wasn't actually a movie! No, this was actually a three-part TV series produced by the legendary Irwin Allen (trying to recapture the glory of 'Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea'). This movie is simply the three parts stitched together to sell to the foreign audience. Something that was often done back in the day with TV shows, 'Battlestar Galactica' and 'Buck Rogers' did the same with their initial episodes. The story is, of course, very loosely based around the original story written by Jules Verne (I don't think the Nautilus had lasers, force fields, or kinetic projection capabilities originally).

So on the outlook, this looks and sounds amazing! Just look at that poster! It's just screaming to be watched. Unfortunately things go downhill quite quickly when you actually start watching. A couple of US Navy divers accidentally discover the Nautilus lying dormant in the Pacific. How the sub has never been seen up till that point is anyone's guess. The divers manage to get inside and find Nemo somehow frozen in suspended animation since 1877, apparently. Naturally Nemo is released from his frozen hibernation, is right as rain within minutes, and ready to continue his hunt for Atlantis. 

But wait! There's a snag. The US (and the world I presume) is being terrorised by a super-genius mad professor with his own super hi-tech submarine, and he's threatening to blow up DC unless they give him a gazillion in gold bullion. Hold on! Two US Naval officers just found the Nautilus! They just found Captain Nemo and his wealth of technology from the 1800's! They just discovered the technology of cryogenically freezing a Human Being! They just discovered a man and his machine long thought to be pure science fiction! No time for any of that now!! Just use him and his sub to go after this terrorist guy.

Yeah, so whilst the threat of a mad professor and his robot-maned super sub is a worry, the fact that a fictitious character from a science fiction book just got discovered in suspended animation from 1877, quickly takes a back seat. In fact everyday life just carries on. Nemo isn't at all bothered about the fact he's now living in 1978, and the US Navy is quite happy to use him for their own requirements. 

The whole story feels very rushed and not well thought out. Nemo and his new US Naval crew seem to thwart the mad scientist quite easily on a few occasions throughout the runtime. No sooner had they beaten the professor they managed to discover the lost city of Atlantis! Not so lost after all. But no sooner have they made this miraculous discovery (another one), they have to battle the mad professor again. No time for any in-depth chatter about the civilisation of Atlantis, how they apparently breathe underwater, their tech, or how much of an amazing discovery for mankind this is, batten down the hatches mates! There's action to be had!

This really is a curious hidden gem, well, not that much of a gem. The casting of the two main leads is pretty stella, obviously down to Irwin Allen's involvement. Nemo is played by José Ferrer, and oh boy does he go for it here. He's clearly loving this, and he looks great too, the perfect vision of Nemo (or Captain Birdseye). The mad professor is played by Burgess Meredith, who gives a wide-eyed, short-tempered, manic genius similar to that of his 'Penguin' performance alongside Adam West in 'Batman'. Unfortunately Meredith had to act around his crew of the lamest looking robots you've ever seen. I dunno why they bothered, should have just had a Human crew. They also forgot to give Meredith any sort of costume?

Some of the highlights are obviously the nice submarine model sequences and real-time underwater sequences. Part of the action throughout is, amusingly, seeing Nemo having to go out into the ocean to fix something, or free something. I don't get why Nemo had to go, surely he would stay on board as a Captain would, let the younger Naval guys do it. I'm also pretty sure the modern Naval men would be far more in the know about everything. Nemo would only be able to offer limited info as his knowledge would be centuries out of date. Anyway, the sequences look solid and it was a nice touch to have Nemo using his original Nautilus diving suit (although I'm sure the Navy could have provided him with an up-to-date one when they fixed the Nautilus in San Francisco dry dock).

You can tell this was an Allen production with its familiar-looking sets, the apparent robot obsession, and the obligatory inclusion of the attractive female crew member for no real reason. This version I watched has clearly been chopped up in places because the plot jumps from time to time. I believe they had to cut it down to fit a movie's run time. So that didn't help. You can see why this was never picked up by the studios as it's essentially a poorer version of 'Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea', only Ferrer makes it worth checking out. I'm still not really sure how the Nautilus would offer any real advantages over modern sub technology. Well I guess the Navy couldn't compete with the mad professors 'Delta Beam'.

5/10

2012 (2009)

You know, I was feeling kinda down recently, a bit low, unsure why really, getting old doesn't help. So what way to make myself feel a bit better? Watch a movie about the destruction of the Earth! Realising that actually, things aren't that bad and could be worse. Just need to win that damn lotto!

So, there was a time when Roland Emmerich was a top Hollywood director churning out sure-fire sci-fi hits. After numerous solid adventures into the unknown realms of science fiction, Emmerich took a turn into the disaster genre. The difference with this disaster flick is that it would feature the literal end of the world, incorporating all natural disasters such as quakes, tidal waves, fires, volcanoes etc...

The plot is pretty straightforward. Without delving deep into actual science, unprecedented massive solar flares are slowly heating up the Earth's core which in turn is causing massive unprecedented shifts in the Earth's crust. All this of course leads to massive unprecedented natural disasters which culminate in a massive unprecedented tidal wave, or tsunami as the cool kids like to say these days. Cue lots and lots of different ways to watch boatloads of people get killed. I guess its not really 'enjoyment', but more of morbid curiosity.

Obviously, like ALL the other disaster flicks you've seen, there are numerous characters which we, the audience, follow as the world collapses around them. Every cliche and trope is here, present and correct, as you might expect. Yet despite the unoriginality of it all, I can't deny, like any other disaster movie, there are times when the emotion does get you. You know its coming, you can see it a mile away, but damn it, the movie still manages to choke you up at times. Damn my Human fragility.

The disaster porn on show here is right up there with the best I can't deny. The special effects still hold up pretty well in parts, the CGI does what it needs to do well. Almost every incident is quite an eye-opener and grabs you in the feels. The start of the action is a bit dodgy but things definitely get better. Obviously there are problems, lots of problems, some dumb, some defying reality and science. Initially as LA starts to rip apart and our main characters are trying to escape, they do so by literally outdriving the destruction. It's almost like watching an in-game videogame sequence, like 'Crazy Taxi' or something, dodging all the devastation. Things rapidly get more and more unbelievable in this sequence and you are forced to suspend your disbelief.

There are many many moments in this movie where the core characters escape the seemingly inescapable, deus ex machina moments for sure. On the flip side there are the usual dumb people who simply seem to give up or not care about living, and just remain in place allowing themselves to get obliterated. The President of the United States (a stoic Danny Glover) choosing to stay with his people at the White House is one such example. Woody Harrelson's crazy conspiracy theory character choosing to stay and watch Yellowstone erupt is another. Luckily there are no dog (or other animal) scenarios to worry about. Because God damn, we all lose the plot if an animal is in peril.

The funny thing is, in this movie Oliver Platt portrays the stern, no nonsense, White House Chief of Staff. Now this guy is essentially following the science and simply wants to get everyone to the ark (yes that kind of ark) and secure it ready for the final mega-tsunami. Of course this line of thinking is about hard choices, survival of the Human race. But naturally, for cinematic purposes, various other characters are against this and have a more sensitive moral outlook, because they are the 'good guys' which we, the audience, should support. But in reality, it's Platt's Chief of Staff whom I found myself supporting, because he made more sense. He wasn't prepared to risk the vital few for the many which could have resulted in no one surviving (obviously it all works out in the end, because movie!). 

This is a typical Hollywood liberal view on things like this. A view that always works out in the movies but in reality would be extremely dangerous. Is it me or did Oliver Platt also look a lot like Democrat Chicago Govenor JB Pritzker? 

Is it also just me but did those arks look really really solid, and it seemed like them hitting the rocks/mountains wouldn't have caused THAT much damage? They were literally thick armour-plated floating skyscrapers. I just don't think bumping into the mountains would have done too much. Anyway, this is an enjoyable movie for sure, it does exactly what it says on the tin, and exactly what you'd come to expect. It delivers on everything, bottom line. Yes it's stupid in places, but it's an action thriller movie for Pete's sake, it's not supposed to be exact science.

6/10