Sunday, 8 October 2023
Sword of Sherwood Forest (1960)
Sunday, 20 August 2023
House on Haunted Hill (1959)
Saturday, 29 July 2023
Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)
Friday, 14 July 2023
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
Fear not Ranger. Barbarian, Magician, Thief! Cavalier and Acrobat. I am Dungeon Master, your guide in the realm of Dungeons & Dragons.
Thursday, 22 June 2023
Prey (2022)
So what have we here? Well it's a Predator movie so there isn't really that much to explain. One difference with this latest entry is the fact there aren't two different tribes of Predators runnin' around. This time we're going back to the original in terms of plot and tone (although they said that about 'Predators'). This time it's Predator versus primal man...woman...girl. This time it's back to booby traps, mud, and hunting. This time it's a Predator versus a Native American girl, yup, welcome to 2023.
Now don't get me wrong, I have no issues with strong female characters, we've had many of them in many classic movies, but it's actually getting a bit old now. To add to that this female character is supposed to be really young, not sure how old exactly but she looks like a damn teenager to me. Kinda like taking Newt, adding some years, and then pitting her against a Predator. Actually that could work! Anyway the main crux (or carrot) for this entry is the fact it's a Predator vs. Native Americans. To be honest this sounds like the perfect idea for a Dark Horse graphic novel series for sure, but a full-blown movie? I just find it cheesy because you can swap out the Indians and use ANY period warriors and it would be exactly the same. Predator vs. Vikings. Predator vs. Knights. Predator vs. Samurai. Predator vs. Spartans. Predator vs. Mongols etc...The list goes and every idea would literally be the same albeit the locations obviously.
And here lies the problem, this movie isn't actually very original at all and once again pales in comparison to both the 1987 original AND the 1991 sequel (I said what I said). The plot is completely predictable naturally. The young female (with an awkward American accent) wants to be a warrior but the rest of the tribe poo poo this idea (present-day social commentary!), so she has to prove herself. At first she fails but after much perseverance and the arrival of a Predator she manages to do just that. Along the way we get various callbacks to the original including dialog, shots, and scenes. The main difference is this is a prequel so the Predator is using dated tech and for some reason looks completely different...again.
But yeah I wasn't really impressed here. The movie is surprisingly dark so you actually don't see that much gore. I get that they tried to make it look natural with natural light in the wilderness and adding to the suspense factor, but it didn't work for me. The movie wasn't suspenseful and I couldn't see a great deal because a lot happens at night. There is gore but it's almost entirely CGI which is just pathetic I'm sorry. This is why older flicks are so much better, real blood effects, practical effects, squibs etc...This is why Paul Verhoeven movies are so God damn epic. You don't ever really see the Predator's face that well again because much is set at night, and I didn't really like the new design. His mouth is HUGE! Takes up half his face and his eyes are almost on either side of his face! Didn't like the bone-esque looking mask either. Couldn't really see how it stayed on his face to be honest.
I also didn't like seeing all these wild animals getting killed frankly, kinda depressing. I get the gist of the Predator obviously but I really don't see why he would be killing wolves or snakes (I get the bear). The Predator is an intelligent species, it can tell the difference between another creature being a threat and another creature merely hunting for its own survival, right? So why would it kill these animals unless they actually attacked him, especially creatures that are so small. I mean, does the Predator have to kill every flippin' predator species it comes across in order to prove itself or conquer that particular planet??
Around the halfway mark a load of French voyageurs turn up because of course they do. Naturally these guys all turn out to be a really nasty bunch of White guys (of course) and cannon fodder for the Predator. At first it seems like there's only a handful of them but as the Predator starts wiping them out their number seems to grow rapidly (cannon fodder required for action sequences as there aren't many Natives and the Natives are of course goodies). Once again the visuals are disappointing because you don't actually see any of the kills and all the blood is CLEARLY CGI. It's also around this point where our female protagonist turns out to be a martial artist of sorts and is able to take out multiple grown men at the same time...ugh!!
Spoilers but the Predator kills himself in, what seems to me, like a really dumb way. His mask houses his laser targeting system and his wrist gauntlet fires these darts things now. So wherever the triangular red dots point that's where the darts go (homing). Well it seems the Predator forgets this and tries to shoot the female Native point-blank range without his mask on (which has been cunningly placed facing the back of his head by the female Native) so naturally the darts just home in on the back of his head and boom. Then there's the ending where our female protagonist arrives back at her camp and throws the Predator's head on the ground in front of her tribe, all of whom seem totally unfazed by the alien head at their feet. The fact she almost kills herself by trying to kill a bear when she totally didn't need to because it was just minding its own business. I get she's trying to be a hunter but come on! Weigh up the situation girl!
So yeah...overall this was a mixed bag for me. In general the visuals are nice with some lovely atmospheric location shots. The Natives all look and sound authentic as do the French men whilst the Predator certainly sounds good and comes with those nice infrared optics. Alas the movie is packed with terrible CGI, bad acting, dim visuals at key moments, and the Predator doesn't look as good as it should. They keep changing the look but the original simply cannot be beaten so why try? The real issue here is the movie is simply another retread of the same old formula but merely with Native Americans. They have to move this franchise forward, maybe into space? Maybe onto the Predator home world? They cannot keep doing the same thing over and over geez!
5.5/10
Monday, 19 June 2023
Black Adam (2022)
So if this movie confirmed anything it was one thing, Dwayne Johnson isn't a real movie star, he simply cannot carry a top-tier movie. Johnson merely seems to be the ultimate ensemble actor who can boost a franchise, but on his own, he simply ain't got the chops. The new Arnie he certainly is not, confirmed.
Thursday, 4 May 2023
The Purge (2013)
For the longest time I mistakenly thought this franchise was some kind of horror or torture porn series like the 'Saw' or 'Hostel' franchises. For me this franchise just kinda blurred into all the other horror flicks that were being churned out around the same time. They all seemed the same with bland movie posters etc...Because of this I didn't bother with it because those things aren't really my cup of tea. Boy was I wrong!
So the plot is pretty simple. After economic collapse in the US a new political party comes into power and introduces 'purge night' or 'the purge'. An annual event where all crime is allowed for one night only with all emergency services suspended during the night. Somehow this has allowed the US to become almost crime free with almost no unemployment, dunno why. On this night a wealthy family, against all well-known recommendations and advice, allow a stranger (who is being hunted) into their home. Thusly the entire family come under siege and must survive the night from a group of 'purgers' who want the stranger (so they can 'purge'/execute him).
So overall I do actually like this movie, which surprised me. I fully went into this expecting some silly violent nonsense but I actually found myself getting sucked in and enjoying the thrills. The story is actually quite intriguing with its (admittedly) obvious social allegories but does get you thinking. Could this actually happen in reality? Yeah it could, you could actually see something like this coming about in the distant future. It's not out of the realms of possibility for sure, and that's what's so intriguing about it. It's very much like the game shows and tech we see in the Arnie action vehicle 'The Running Man' which, apart from the violence of course, have actually come to fruition. Granted it's not a big stretch or anything but the violent aspect of it could easily (and worryingly) turn up in decades to come.
The purge is seen as a way for the masses to vent their pent-up anger and for the rich to purge the undesirable (poor people). I don't really understand how that would reduce crime across the nation though. And I don't really get how erasing poor people would help because you need all levels of people for a society to function, it can't be solely rich folk. And as for the notion that everyone just stops killing each other at the sound of a loud siren is kinda daft because we all know it wouldn't stop, people would keep on going. You know you'd have to forcefully stop people. Plus I would imagine the overall damage and destruction to infrastructure would be immense. To the point that by the time you'd fixed it all back up it would be time for the next purge and it would get all wrecked again.
It is all a bit on the nose to be honest though. The affluent family are all White and pretty generic, nothing to speak of really. The only surprise to me was the young boy who suffers from a guilt trip and allows the homeless man on the run into the house. I would have expected the young girl or mother to do that seeing as women tend to be a bit more forgiving and liberally minded. As for the poor homeless man being hunted, he's Black, so yeah...on the nose with the social commentary and allegories. The purgers are also all White and from wealthy backgrounds themselves. A bunch of young adults, probably in their early twenties, their leader a blonde guy (cos blonde haired blue-eyed males are always evil apparently). So overall you have all White folk. The innocent family is White. The demented purgers are White and could easily be seen as Klan-esque in nature. And the lone character being hunted is Black (in this area at least), you getting the message?
Violence wise it's actually not as bad as I thought it would be. Standard stuff really, as you would expect, but effective. The movie doesn't need to be ultra-violent but it does need to show hints of the raw brutality that would occur under such circumstances. The finale is also quite good. I enjoyed the twist with the neighbours, the small somewhat obvious twist with the boyfriend was okay too. The fact that the homeless man turns out to be the hero in the end isn't much of a surprise though (come on people twas obvious!).
So yes like I said I did actually get on with this movie okay. Whilst it's not the most original story ever it does lure you in and keep you interested, despite being mostly predictable. The key is obviously the hot-button social allegories which back in 2013 were pretty spicy, but now in 2023 even more so! So essentially our present day is the perfect time to first-time watch or revisit this movie/franchise as (unfortunately) the plot is highly relevant.
7/10




















