Appleseed (1988)

 

So here we are, watching this old OVA for the first time despite having seen all the other offerings since. The politics and philosophical aspects of the reimagined 'Appleseed' 2004 offering and its sequel, 'Appleseed Ex Machina' which had a Western flavour. And then the prequel to those movies, 'Appleseed Alpha' which had possibly the best CGI. This 88 OVA however, is totally original and is in no way connected to those other three movies. This is where it all started.

Sooo the plot is what you might call, a bit generic, a bit unoriginal, truth be told. As I've probably mentioned in my reviews of the other movies, director Kazuyoshi Katayama clearly took MUCH inspiration from a set of classic American sci-fi movies of the era. It's quite easy to see a lot of influence from movies like 'Blade Runner', 'Aliens, and 'The Terminator' straight off the bat. After WWIII, the powers that be construct a city for humans, cyborgs, and bioroids: the city of Olympus. The bioroids are essentially worker robots that take care of admin duties, civil operations, diplomacy, and governance. Above everything is the supercomputer Gaia, which is like a robotic brain, naturally.

However, not everyone is happy in the city, and one disillusioned cop, Charon, is secretly plotting with a foreign merc cyborg terrorist (whose second mission is to pinch a super flying tank mech thing to deliver to an outside force also intent on destroying Gaia) to destroy the supercomputer Gaia via another bioroid's DNA. This particular bioroid has been encoded with a shutdown override to prevent Gaia from being taken out directly.

The reason? Well, Charon's wife killed herself after growing depressed living within a city where humans had no control. Charon obviously holds the city, and Gaia, responsible. Same for the outside force; they also hate the artificial control and the fact that artificial bioroids control humans. So, it's down to the humble city of Olympus police force to stop all this, or more specifically, ESWAT (Enhanced SWAT or Extra Special Weapons and Tactics). A heavily armed anti-terrorist unit with top operatives Deunan Knute and Briareos, a cyborg with a human brain (I can't pronounce those names either).

Seems like some hypocrisy there though. Charon and the outside military force are all unhappy with genetically engineered bioroids and supercomputer Gaia essentially controlling humans (seems understandable). They refuse to accept artificial life ruling; however, they are quite happy to utilise a cyborg to get their way? One wonders if they would turn on any cyborgs once they gain control back from Gaia.

The basis of the story is a bit basic, which surprised me; this did feel like a bit more of an all-out action affair rather than an insight into the issues of mankind being run by artificial life. The basic building blocks of Asimov are there, but that's as far as it goes. You could almost be forgiven for rooting for the one cop who wants to fight back against the machine; but needless to say, his methods are extreme, and he gets entangled with the wrong people. Obviously , on the other hand, you could ask yourself why any human would want to fight back against a society run by an artificial life system whose entire aim is to make life as easy and pleasant as possible. Classic dilemma, the humans are comfortable, but are they free?

As for the actual anime side of things, well you can tell this is an older feature. The animation is a bit rough but lovely, in that classic Saturday morning kinda way. Think along the lines of those classic 80's kids' action cartoons that had that anime vibe: Bionic 6, Thundercats, Galaxy Rangers etc...Appleseed fits right in amongst these cartoons, but just add some death and blood. I liked it a lot; it has that retro 80's vibe running through it. It looks a bit rough around the edges, but at the same time a bit gritty and more realistic. I love how weapons in anime always look really detailed and accurate to their real-life counterparts. I also loved the unique futuristic designs on the mech suits and augmented humans, a now very classic cyberpunk look that runs through this franchise. The sound effects they use for the weapons are also really kick-ass and meaty, love it. Anime tends to really nail weapons, especially real ones.

For the actual soundtrack, this is something that Japanese anime loses me on. Many anime have such odd choices in music for different scenes. You could have an epic firefight, mech battle, or monster mash, yet in the background you'll hear some dainty, lighthearted tune that is completely wrong for that moment. Either that, or you get some silly jingle, again, straight out of a Saturday morning kids' cartoon. The music can be really hit or miss in anime, if you ask me. So many times something kick-ass is happening, and I'm sitting there thinkin', this would be so much better with a rock tune in the background.

It's strange to say this, but overall, for me, this is one time where an original anime doesn't quite live up to the later remake, sequel, and prequel. Heck, even the CGI is pretty good in those later features. Whilst this is obviously a classic anime that is very enjoyable to watch, I just felt the story wasn't fleshed out as well as the later features. I adore the somewhat janky dated visuals, but this first offering just felt a bit hollow and generic; nothing really jumped off the screen at me. This might be down to the fact that this anime isn't that faithful to the original manga graphic novel. I can't compare the two as I haven't read the original source material. This does kinda feel like a simple 80's action flick, but animated. Not a terrible sounding I know, but I just expected this to be a little deeper.

7/10

Starsky & Hutch (2004)

 

Anyone else remember when the likes of Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller were a thing? An entire series of throwaway movies with the 'Frat Pack'. Wow! Seems like a lifetime ago.

This movie was the perfect distillation of both the movie adaptation trend of the mid 90's to mid 00's, and the continuous use of said Frat Pack. During this time, it seemed like every TV show ever was going to end up with a movie adaptation, whether it was a good idea or not. Often, it wouldn't be a good idea and would lead to awkward issues due to political correctness clashing with old narratives. In turn this would then lead to changes being made, which obviously ruined the nature of the original TV show.

So, did the iconic cops and robbers TV show need a movie adaptation? No, not really. Was taking it down a more comedic route a good option? Actually probably yes, going by the 'Miami Vice' movie. But was it a good idea to go down the more spoof route with Frat Pack actors, rather than try for a proper comedy with a proper story? I would say no, this could have been a decent cop comedy, the spoof/satire element was not required in my opinion.

And here lies the entire problem with this movie. This isn't a movie, this is essentially a collection of comedy sketches cobbled together into a movie. There is no story here; it's virtually a long TV comedy show that aimlessly trundles along from one sketch to another. Now don't get me wrong, the comedy is good, in places, but as a movie this just feels pointless. The thing is, you already know what the gags are gonna be about (if you know the TV show and the era). Sure enough, one of the first gags we get is about Starsky's (Ben Stiller's) perm, because of course.

Once you get past the fact that both Stiller and Wilson do look good as Starsky and Hutch, their attire is spot on, they do look good with the car, and they are able to recreate the 70's vibe nicely, well that's it. Most of the movie is just recreating or homaging scenes from other movies. Admittedly these scenes do look good: the 'Easy Rider' scene, 'Saturday Night Fever', and of course the Ford Gran Torino is perfectly recreated and looks good in every scene. But that is the entire movie, that's all you get. There is nothing much else on offer here. How many times do we see the 70's era spoofed? Hardly original stuff, even when this was made.

If you like the sophomoric slacker-esque comedy style of the Frat Pack movies, Wilson's laidback style, and Stiller's wide-eyed over-the-top madness, then you'll love this (and that counts for all of their movies). Even if you're too young to know about the original TV show, the ease of Stiller and Wilson's comedy will get you past that problem. Although, you might not get some of the references. Bottom line, this entire gag would work wonders as a quick short, sketch, or half-hour show, but as a movie it's just pure padding with a super generic plot. I mean, if you like car porn, then there are some cheap thrills to be had with the Torino, I guess. In time, was Starsky and Hutch ever more than the iconic car? This movie wasn't, the whole thing virtually hinges on that classic vector stripe and a perm.

4/10

Bubblegum Crash (1991)

 

Taking place one year after the events of the original OVA series 'Bubblegum Crisis', we find that the superheroic Knight Sabers have disbanded and gone their separate ways, leaving MegaTokyo at the hands of crime and corruption. But predictably this situation cannot last, so the girls must regroup and get back into the firing line. So essentially, we have three more episodes of more of the same, just a little dumbed down this time.

So the first main difference here is, in 'Crisis' we got eight episodes that ranged in length. This time we get a mere three episodes, but all three are around 50 minutes long. The second main difference is the plot; in Crisis we got eight different stories set in the same time period and locations. Almost like an anthology. Here in 'Crash' the three episodes are just about in continuity and form an entire movie split into three parts. Is this better or worse? Well that depends on you, myself? I prefer the anthology style a little more because there's more scope for different stories and they are more easily digestible.

The first part sees the AD Police in MegaTokyo struggling to combat a team of bank robbers in power suits. The criminals (under instruction of a mastermind) are after special AI components that can make Boomers more Human-like. After seeing how the four main female protagonists have been getting on since splitting, they eventually reunite as the Knight Sabers to battle the threat. The second part sees one of the company's (Zone) researchers go rogue, killing his team and stealing the latest AI technology, 'Adama', a very Human-like Boomer in terms of speech and behaviour. And the third part sees a virus infect all Boomers citywide, causing them to attack Humans. Turns out this virus was unleashed by an old enemy back from the dead.

Now, I'm not a fanboy of this franchise, nor do I know all the ins and outs of the stories, but the original series was clearly much darker and more violent than this follow-up. You could almost say that the original series was simply more adult-themed than this sequel. Now this is not to say that I disliked this sequel series, no Sir, but for whatever reason, this was a much lighter tone overall with less violence and even comedic moments. Admittedly I did find the original series to be a bit too close to certain Hollywood sci-fi movies in terms of visuals and whatnot, but it definitely packed a punch. 

This time around, a lot of the movie feels more like a standard Hollywood action flick with moments of buddy-cop camaraderie. The first and second parts heavily revolve around the rogue group 'the illegal army' who are trying to steal top-secret AI tech. This merely felt like watered-down cops and robbers in mech suits, whereas the actual Boomers in the second part clearly take a lot of influence from 'The Terminator'. It's funny how all the evil Boomers are square-jawed, good-looking, buff guys that look like a mix of Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren, and Michael Biehn. A lot of it feels like 'Universal Soldier' too, but obviously that came a year later.

The second part also introduces the new super AI child-like Boomer Adama, which comes across like something out of a Spielberg movie or a Disney animation (the eyes). At the same time, rogue Zone researcher Dr. Yuri looks suspiciously like Sting at his blonde peak. His huge combat Boomer being another generic spider-like tank (this future isn't overly inventive in the design department). The third part kicks off with the very unoriginal concept of a virus corrupting all Boomers, making them go dangerously insane (minus any actual on-screen bloody violence). Unfortunately, it soon devolves into a massive battle against a huge, highly generic, tentacled, bio-mechanical, cybernetic monster in downtown MegaTokyo. I feel like all sci-fi anime movies have something like this at some point.

Despite these complaints, the movie still looks beautiful. The plot and tone might have taken a dip here but the visuals certainly haven't. Maybe they aren't quite as sharp as the original, but overall the science fiction all looks authentic and super cool. The action is smooth, slick, and puts many live-action offerings to shame. The sound effects are also as good as you have come to expect from anime action. Personally, I love all the gun sound effects, reloading, ricochets, impacts etc...The originality may be lacking but the artwork and animation certainly aren't.

So, in terms of whether this was good or not, yes it is good. Whilst it doesn't have the same tone as the original, I think I actually preferred this sequel in terms of engagement and understanding. Yes this sequel is a bit watered-down, but I just found it a bit easier to get into; the plot didn't feel as in-depth and political, which just made the whole thing chug along more smoothly for me. Although I can't deny that the return of one character felt cheap, his master plan felt Saturday-morning cartoonish, and the resort to body horror with big monsters felt totally out of place when compared to the original Blade Runner-esque scope. Nonetheless, this is most definitely a highly polished science fiction romp with plenty to get your teeth into.

7/10

The Woman in Red (1984)

 

Long after the comedy classic collaborations with Mel Brooks and Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder's writing and directing resulted in this late 80's comedy that, at the time and whilst I was growing up, was seen as a classic comedy. But over time this seems to have faded along with Wilder's other later offerings.

This movie was actually based on a French comedy from 1976, and this American version is, apparently, a near shot-for-shot remake. Naturally, there are cultural differences. In the French film the main character having a mistress is more accepted, with less manic action. The French film also offers more story for the other characters who are best friends with the main character. The French film was also more subtle with obviously a more Eurocentric approach to the humour. Wilder made his version more zany, more frantic, with physical humour and sight gags (which he obviously excelled at). 

Much of the hype at the time was due to the stunning Kelly LeBrock as the woman in red. This was her film debut and boy did she nail it, in the looks department at least. Growing up watching this movie in the 80's I had a crush on LeBrock, as did everyone else at my age. In fact, I think everyone did as she definitely helped to boost the movie's recognition. Her red dress ventilation scene was also a big media and marketing draw at the time. Obviously homaging Marilyn Monroe, it became quite an iconic little moment at the time. Alas like the movie, this seems to have faded away in time.

The funny thing is, looking back, this movie was seen as a bit racy, a bit naughty and not for kids. You can see the French/Euro-ness of it all. A middle-of-the-road, middle-aged advertising executive ends up having a midlife crisis as he develops a huge man crush on his company's newest supermodel. The movie follows him as he tears around trying to get a date with this mysterious beauty whilst trying not to give the game away to his wife. Meanwhile, his three boisterous friends try to help him carry out this devious deed whilst dealing with their own marital/relationship issues.

These days this movie definitely would not go down too well with the politically correct crowd. Admittedly, this movie has not aged too well in the male and female relationship department. Joseph Bologna plays one of Theodore's (Gene Wilder's) friends, and he is quite the misogynist! He spends most of the movie objectifying women, and sometimes even touching them inappropriately. I mean, this is the guy's character; he's meant to be a creep, but oh boy, it has not aged well, and I'm no liberal. On the other hand, another friend played by Charles Grodin is gay (because San Francisco?), and he comes across more like a bit of a stereotype to be honest. But heck, these characters are still funny, can't deny that. I mean, does Wilder's character stalk the woman in red in this movie? Hmmmmm.

This is the thing, Wilder's character Theodore, is meant to be the nice guy, and he is. However, technically, he is also a creep. He's running around behind his wife's back, lying to her, lusting after this young woman, and getting his female work colleague accidentally involved (hilarious mind you). This works cos Gene Wilder is such a likeable and funny guy with his goofy puppy dog looks, childlike crazy behaviour and reactions, plus his comedic genius. But at the same time, we know Theo's marriage is a decent happy one with a loving wife and kids, so you kinda feel bad for the wife and realise Theodore is a bit of a cad really. He also flirts with an airline stewardess at one point, on his way to see the woman in red. He really doesn't deserve his happy marriage. And here's the kicker (spoiler alert), at the end, he doesn't learn his lesson and goes after ANOTHER young woman! Sheesh!

I've always wondered what the woman in red actually saw in Theo to be honest. I guess it's his lovable cuteness and the fact she thinks he's a lonely dorky guy. But it turns out she was married all along and just wanted a quick roll in the sack? Gee, when you really think about it, this movie is morally corrupt innit. Yet back in the day, we all accepted it as a hilarious cheeky comedy with a popular, charming Hollywood comedian (things weren't so political back then). The movie is funny, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be some kind of moral arbiter, but when you watch this now (as a proper grown-up), you can't help but question the story and character motives.

On the plus side, the movie looks beautiful with gorgeous location work in San Francisco. America was a much nicer place during the 80's, I think. I can't not mention the soundtrack; it's pretty iconic, or it was. Stevie Wonder elevates the movie with his songs that were created specifically for this movie. Yes that's right, 'I Just Called to Say I Love You' was written by Wonder for this movie. For that reason alone, this movie should be more of a classic. And the songs fit perfectly into this movie too, they aren't forced in any way.

So what we have here is a very solid comedy with some excellent performances from every actor. There are some truly classic moments of comedy gold in this movie, and no one can say otherwise. When Wilder is on form, he's on form. Bologna is hilariously cringe as the smooth-talking sleazeball, whilst Gilda Radner is brilliant as the (deliberately less-attractive) fiery co-worker who gets revenge on Theo for being used. The movie was very popular, it did well, and most of that was down to Wilder. Alas, over the decades, upon reflection, the story is a bit of a bum note. The main character gets away with his actions and he doesn't learn anything. It's not even a happy ending really. What happened to his marriage? Did Theo's wife leave him? Did he cheat again with the reporter? It seems like only Radner's character got the happy ending. Oh well. 

6/10

Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (1994)

 

A new school year, a new school, a new teacher, a new mission.

This movie is apparently set in the distant future of 2001, two years after the events of the previous movie. Apparently, in France, this movie is called 'Class of 2001', but presumably, for franchise recognition in the West, we got this title. Still, the French title makes more sense and fits in with the title pattern of this trilogy of movies, 'Class of 1984, 99, 01'. So, missed a trick there, oddly.

As for the plot, well I bet you're expecting yet another round of killer android teachers exterminating young thugs in their local school, right? Well you're absolutely right! No, no, sorry, sorry to disappoint you, but that's actually not the case. This time around, substitute teacher John Bolen leaves his current school after terminating some ruffians...and the Principal! No police follow-up or anything, he just gets away with that scot-free. He turns up at another school (and gets hired, no questions asked apparently) and immediately starts picking off the students.

Sounds okay but the plot rapidly declines and makes no real sense. You see, at first, Bolen appears to be protecting a female teacher who is getting targeted by a violent gang of students after witnessing one pull a gun. Which is really weird cos in this universe I thought that was normal for high school teens. So we get the usual thing with the female teacher constantly getting harassed, her boyfriend trying to help her, local police being useless, and Bolen quietly offing students one by one, and no one knows what's going on. But, towards the finale, Bolen starts to randomly attack and kill anyone and everyone he comes into contact with, including the female teacher he has been protecting.

So I really don't have any clue why Bolen does this towards the end of the movie. Apparently 'death is his mission'? Anyway, it turns out that Bolen actually isn't a killer android, but actually the son of Dr. Bob Forrest from the previous movie (the guy who created the killer androids), and an ex-special forces veteran with PTSD. All this time he's been wearing a special body armour which is bullet and stab-proof. So this entire movie is a bit of a con really.

Besides the rather naff bait-and-switch plot, the movie looks pretty drab too. Clearly filmed in and around small patches of dry yellowly-green spaces in California, the movie has no real presence or atmosphere despite attempts to make it look eerie. All the high school kids look like adults (cos they're played by adults). They all wear jumpsuits at school, which isn't explained, but I'm guessing the schools are treated like prisons. And the town where all this occurs only seems to be policed by one elderly cop? Where is everyone??

The action is fair but nothing special. Sasha Mitchell has a decent, Keanu Reeves-like, Johnny Mnemonic look about him (which he kept throughout his early movie career), and he can do martial arts, which helps. Mitchell has a solid form and makes the sparse fighting moments better than they should be. There is blood, but not much. There is violence, but not much. The most violent moment being a student getting torched alive. Other than that, there isn't much to shout about and absolutely no wicked killer robot stop-motion effects.

But yeah, the movie makes no real sense. Bolen has PTSD, but would that turn someone into an unstoppable killing machine? Why did he turn on all the good characters at the end? He is not bothered about what happened to his dad in the previous movie? Did that add to his PTSD? Clearly you're supposed to root for Bolen as he kills the unruly teens and gang members, but he essentially behaves like a Terminator without any Arnie quirks, and as the movie carries on, it becomes more and more unclear if he's good or not. That might sound like a good twist, but it isn't really because when he does turn against the good guys, we don't know why.

The very end sees our female heroine donning the body armour and hinting at the fact that she's gonna kick (or kill?) some high school student ass. Almost as if she's carrying on where Bolen left off, or she's simply learnt how to protect herself better, or she's decided to not be scared of anything anymore. I dunno, could be anything really. The bottom line is, despite this movie being a sequel to the last killer android sci-fi flick, it bears no real resemblance to that movie. This is all about an ex-military man going off the rails, no real sci-fi involved. Sure, it's not a copy and paste job, but strange choice.

4/10

Air Force One (1997)

 

God bless those United States. The old red, white and blue. The stars and stripes, the most powerful country in the whole wide world!! Murica!

So once upon a time, a long, long time ago, an action movie was made by director John McTiernan and starred a young Bruce Willis. This movie centred around the hijacking of an American skyscraper by a highly efficient group of terrorists. Only one thing stood in their way, a single lone blue-collar cop in a vest.

That movie was the classic 1988 action thriller 'Die Hard', probably the best action movie ever made and the movie that launched an entire genre. Ever since that day, we have seen many many movies that copied the basic premise. This genre became known as 'Die Hard on a plane or train or boat' etc...

Anyway, this movie is essentially another variant of that classic genre and comes under 'Die Hard on a plane'. The only twist in this tale is the fact that the lone hero is the President of the United States. Other than that, this is pretty much your standard terrorist-hijack setup, with all the regular ingredients you might expect. Take 'Passenger 57 ', 'Die Hard', and 'Executive Decision ', throw them in a blender and voila!

This film does well mainly down to the huge appeal of Harrison Ford as the President. Think along the lines of Indiana Jones fighting Russian terrorists, on Air Force One, in the 90's, and you can't go wrong can you? His rugged looks, manly voice, and likeable charisma (even without the fedora) are the stuff of silver screen legend.

The other reason this works so well is Gary Oldman as the main Russian baddie. He's got the stereotypical goatee, a heavy accent, and he's really mean. Another good Eurotrash villain. Along with Ford, that's two rock-solid performances which keep the film glued together. Without them (with lower-tier action stars), this could have easily been a very average run-of-the-mill action thriller.

Looking back, the casting in this movie is pretty extensive. There are lots of familiar faces for all the White House staff, both on and off the plane, such as Dean Stockwell, Glenn Close, and William H. Macy. Andrew Divoff is one of the Russian bad guys. Jürgen Prochnow is typecast as your stereotypical Eastern European-looking bad guy. And Xander Berkeley is the stupiest undercover terrorist ever, as he has a chance at the end to carry on in his role and not get discovered cos all the bad guys have been killed. Instead, he makes the stupid choice and gets killed.

The movie interestingly gives you a glimpse into the interior of Air Force One which, at the time, was unique (before the internet). I never realised how luxurious the interior of the plane is, from top to bottom, it's like a long narrow mansion. On top of that, you also learn a few things about the plane. Is there really an escape pod on board?

The sets for Air Force One all look top-notch, and the action is also darn good, but admittedly, it's also pretty daft at times. Lots of gunfire in mid air, inside the plane, kinda silly as you'd think at least one might pierce the fuselage, especially with all the machine gun fire, geez! The obligatory faceless Russian goons, were small in number but many still managed to get killed (magical gun fodder?). The same can be said for Air Force One personnel. People getting mowed down all over the shop, lots of faceless gun fodder. Seemed like the plane was packed.

Watching this now, it does feel heavily dated and not really as slick as it appeared back in the day. For starters, the effects are terrible. Awful looking CGI and greenscreen throughout, laughable in fact. The less said about the big finale the better. How on earth such shoddy CGI was allowed for that plane crash, I'll never know. It looked bad even back then. Basically, everything on the plane looks realistic; everything outside the plane, including fighter jets, looks hokey.

It is of course, highly ludicrous that this would ever happen, or that any President of the United States could actually do something like this. But of course we already know that, suspension of disbelief.

End of the day, it's your typical action flick, cunningly disguised as something a bit more intelligent (or at least trying to be). Far from it, this really is a very standard action movie which makes me wonder how they managed to get such a stellar cast. You could literally have cast anyone in these roles, and it would still be the same outcome (average). A better and similar action movie to watch would be Wesley Snipes in 'Passenger 57' truth be told. 

'nobody does this to the United States'

5/10

Masters of the Universe (2026)

 

In today's story, we learned that you should always try to go into a movie with an open mind. The critics are quite often wrong (although we kinda knew that already), and some old franchises are, unfortunately, simply past their sell-by-date (cos this ain't down with the kids).

So when I heard about this, I thought there was a high chance it would turn out to be ass. I mean, the entire notion of rebooting the aged He-Man franchise, in the current liberal Hollywood climate, with the abundance of naff-looking CGI, and the fact that superhero movies have had their time, it seemed like a recipe for disaster. The original He-Man movie has since become a bit of a cult classic, or 'so bad it's good', but could a modern adaptation actually be any better?

The Cast: Initially, my fears were cemented when we started to get some casting info and pictures. Straight off the bat, Man-At-Arms was to be portrayed by Edris Elba. Immediately I'm thinking, why do that? Duncan has a very specific design, and he's Teela's father. So unless there was more bombshell casting news coming, why would they needlessly complicate things like that? Other characters also got race-swapped, which I have to admit, bugged me, because why?? But in the long run, in this case, it didn't really matter.

All that aside, the casting in this movie turned out to be a huge pleasant surprise. For a start, Nicholas Galitzine (never heard of him) was absolutely great as He-Man/Prince Adam. I couldn't believe it, they actually found someone who hit his comedic marks, was likeable, and he actually looks like He-Man with his golden curtains. Camila Mendes (Teela) wasn't quite as attractive as her cartoon counterpart, but she was solid. Elba did a stand-up job as Duncan, complete with tash (although not as thick and 70's-esque looking), and although I didn't quite like Skeletor's voice in this, Jared Leto actually worked well here, imagine that! 

The Characters: Overall, I thought the entire cast worked, including all the background characters. But what REALLY amazed me here, was the fact that all the characters actually looked like their original cartoon counterparts! I know right! For Eternia we had Fisto (or was that Graham Platner?), Ram-Man, Moss-Man, Mekaneck, Roboto, King Randor, and Sorceress. All these characters looked exactly as they should, exactly as any fan would expect. I was blown away, even Cringer! Although, I must add, Roboto is now a female bot, and didn't actually look accurate until the end of the movie. For Snake Mountain we had Beast Man, Tri-Klops, Trap-Jaw, Spikor, Goat Man, Pigboy, Evil-Lyn, and Karg! Again, some minor visual aesthetic changes aside, all these guys looked correct. My only quibble would be that I wanted to see more heroes and villains; having them in the background would have been fine.

Fanboy Pandering: Yes and yes, and plenty of it. Is that bad? Nope, it was perfect for someone like me. Almost everything in this movie looked pretty accurate, or near enough, to the original cartoon, all the locations, various vehicles, weapons etc...Some characters are easter eggs in themselves. Pigboy? Pretty sure that's the character from the original 1987 movie that was created for a child competition winner? Could be wrong. Karg? They brought back Karg from the 87 movie too! I love it! But why not Blade and Saurod? Some things are hinted at via their names; the comicbook store on Earth where Adam finds the power sword is called 'The Fright Zone', where Hordak's lair is located. Orko pops up at the end, as does She-Ra. Evil-Lyn has her rarely seen white hair. Skeletor using cartoon accurate insults against He-Man. The collective laugh and stance of the good guys, arched back, hands on hips, just like the original cartoon. Did Teela mention Zodac at one point?

Negatives: Alas, a movie is rarely perfect, and despite a lot of goodness, there were some mistakes, in my opinion. First up, I appreciated the fact that Skeletor was simply a villain; he liked being bad, and nothing more. However, they really should have included his backstory as Prince Keldor. This wouldn't have been hard, a quick flashback sequence. I also think they should have included the fact that Teela is the Sorceress's daughter, again, a simple flashback. We didn't get any backstory about Adam on Earth. How was he discovered? What happened? Who raised him? Speaking of Adam, I HATED the fact that he made up all the names for all the warriors on Eternia. Ram-Man, Fisto etc...Those aren't their actual names in this movie, Adam made it all up on Earth. So this begs the question, what are their actual names?

I also thought it was odd that nobody on Eternia came to Adam's rescue on Earth for 15 years. When Teela pops up on Earth, she asks what took him so long (to find the sword), but they knew where he was; why didn't they come to his assistance? Cringer, good old Battle Cat looked great here, but oh boy did they get the voice wrong. Evil-Lyn wasn't evil or sexy enough (if only Sarah Douglas was younger). Finally, I know this will not be taken well but, I didn't like the soundtrack. Yep, trying way too hard to be retro, didn't need that, went overboard. Much like the humour in places, and the gentle but endearing mockery of certain aspects, it went too far and wasn't required. For me, these aspects did spoil the movie at times.

To sum up, I still can't believe it but, yes, I did actually enjoy this rebooted franchise offering. Months ago, I would have put money on this being complete garbage, but every once in a while, Hollywood actually gets it right! There is so much to like here if you're a fan of the original franchise and cartoon, plus, the CGI visuals are actually very good, and the action is actually a bit violent! Unfortunately, going by the box office, it seems that only folks of my age went to see this, resulting in a flop. Typical, because I actually do want more of this, I want to see a trilogy expanding into She-Ra's world, or a spin-off for her.

It is also a shame that some things were clearly left for potential sequels, which now may never happen (Teela getting her cartoon-accurate attire. Cringer as Battle Cat. Roboto looking cartoon accurate, and of course, a multitude of popular characters that weren't used). This was definitely the biggest surprise ever. The fact that Hollywood actually managed to make a movie about, of all characters, He-Man, and it was marvellous! The sad fact it failed kinda puts the kibosh on any 80's retro cartoons getting big-screen adaptations.

7/10