Saturday, 21 September 2013

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)




















2 much bling 2 much ka-ching! the hyper neon lit sequel bursts onto your screen dripping in so much hip hop/rap culture you'd think they were trying to tell us something. Seriously this film is uber ridiculous, its like a toy commercial, a comic book, its the 'Batman and Robin' and 'Batman Forever' of the car chase genre. I was looking to see if Joel Schumacher had a hand in this eye sore.

The initial street racer sequence is the prime example of how utterly cheap and tacky this film is. Each racer is colour coordinated to their car, in other words one female driver is dressed head to toe in shocking pink (cos she's a girl you see). Her Honda 2000 is also customised completely in pink, her 'pit crew' are all dressed in slutty pink attire (I quite liked that), the cars interior is completely pink and even the exhaust flames when the car accelerates are pink...really? come on this has to be a Schumacher job.













So each driver is colour coordinated, one is all pink, one is all gold, one is all red but Walker lets the side down in his t-shirt and jeans. Everything about this film is all about street cred and bling, its god awful. The people in the street racing scenes consist of skimpily clad females (more so than the first film!) and bros with afros in baggy pants, it really is a complete stereotypical nightmare...in neon.

The plot seems to be exactly the same as the first film too, Walker must again go undercover and infiltrate a drug dealers setup to bring him down. This time he isn't a cop but he still thinks he's Keanu Reeves and his speech pattern has become wildly street wise, lots of 'bros' and 'cus' with lots of hip hop handshakes.

The problem with this film aside from the horrendous visuals and acting is the fact its pointless. There aren't really any street racing sequences bar one, even that is stupid because the film gives the impression a Mitsubishi EVO would struggle against a Camaro. Look US 'muscle cars' can't beat Jap super saloons people!! US cars are bricks with V8/6 engines that go nowhere. There aren't really any outstanding stunts and what there is is CGI or greenscreen enhanced, and that includes the small racing sequences. Also the chase sequence at the finale is hilarious because its very clear the cars are all travelling very slowly. I know they can't really go at 120MPH+ the whole time but its so obvious! crawling along the highway with a bunch of cop cars right on there bumper lol! yeah right that's thrilling.










The finale is dull, the characters are dreadful, its chock full of hip hop tracks...in short its an absolute babyish mess that appears to be catering for one specific audience...oh did I mention its all in neon. The Miami setting is perfect for this camp looking mess in all honesty, I've never seen so much brightly coloured crap, and I hate how Walkers Skyline is full of blue neon ugh. Its a crime what they have done to some of those cars, hideous. Just label this under Grand Theft Auto: Bling Heist.

2/10

7 comments:

  1. I agree that this is the weakest of the series (although I don't dislike it as much as you, naturally!) but for the record, I'm quite sure a tuned 450bhp Yenko Camaro (as was featured in the film) would beat an Evo in a straight line. A race with corners involved? Probably not so much, but in a straight line for sure...

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  2. Whoever thought that the absence of Vin Diesel would be so noticeable in a movie? Good review Phil.

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  3. Various EVO's base bhp range from around 270 - 400, but then most can modded much higher, so I'm unsure. Plus the car is probably much lighter and more streamlined than the Camaro. I'm guessing the EVO in the film is supposed to have been heavily modded so its bhp could be anything hehe.

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  4. I can't say for 100% definite but I'm pretty sure a basic Yenko would beat a basic Evo (without NOS). Same goes for that Bengal Charger, but muscle cars can be modded/tuned as well, you know? ;) Anyway, average instalment of a series I like a lot. Least it introduced Roman Pierce who adds much amusement to this and later instalments :)

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  5. By the way, that Skyline that you hate so much is Paul Walker's real car (or at least was when the film was made) :P

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  6. No no I liked the Skyline :) love Skylines...I just didn't like the hideous neon blue underside/interior lighting haha. Yeah I know it was his car, lucky git, I think owning a car in general in the US is a much cheaper affair than here.

    You liked 'Roman Pierce'?!

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  7. I love Skylines too, and I rather liked Mr. Walker's example. I don't have a problem with neons as long as they're not on stupidly inappropriate cars like bloody Citroen Saxo's! :P And the lights themselves have to be hidden with only the glow visible :)

    I quite like the character of Roman Pierce, yes, he's probably the best thing about 2Fast in my opinion :) The thing that annoys me about the film the most is the opening race where no one (Suki in particular) seems to be remotely bothered that the bridge jump causing lord knows how much damage to their cars. Even if they're rich, it's still a lot of time, money, and effort to repair the damage! (>.<)

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