Robocop (2014)

So way back in...whenever, we were given the news of a remake for the ultra violent uber satirical comicbook styled sci-fi 'Robocop', directed by Arsene Wenger, wait what?!. One hoped twas a poor joke but unfortunately as you all know it wasn't, so here we are now...'I wouldn't buy that for a dollar' hehe...no seriously its a line in the film.

After an intro the film kicks off and we get the classic Basil Poledouris theme stomping its way over the opening credits...sweet. Well not really because the theme has been tampered with and sounds completely off key and fudging awful, strike one Robocop reboot.

The plot is generally along the same lines as classic Robo (that's how I will refer to the original, classic Robo) with 'Murphy' being struck down by some bad guys and coming back from the brink of death as a robotic police officer. All this admist a corrupt police force helped along by the dark OmniCorp company which provides advanced robots for the US military. The original film had a biting satirical edge influenced by a Reagan era of heavy consumer culture, privatisation, capitalism and greed, a truly slimy corporate climate full of greasy suits. So what does this film have you ask? how can this film hope to create such a sharp edge when classic Robo's plot no longer fits the bill.

Well this film firmly goes down the sort of relative notion of our current climate, asking if robots with guns (or robots at all) should be allowed to roam around controlling human beings (replacing the police mainly). Is it right to have a mechanical object with artificial intelligence in charge of pulling the trigger and possibly terminating a human life, plus of course the subject of national security is ever present. The film starts off overseas as robots/drones patrol the streets of Tehran, a display of American power and might over a much poorer simple people. Naturally and predictably we are shown straight away how a powerful robot (ED-209) can cut down an innocent child who was wielding a simple knife. So the modern day debate surrounding drones being used abroad to replace troops is stuffed in your face well and truly. The debate about drones policing us on a regular basis is still very much science fiction and could be shoved in any action film.

Although the use of these themes are well presented it still doesn't really feel overly relevant to today's society. The distinct lack of any real dark humour or dark satire on social commentary through any media is really obvious, this was the fabric of the original film and half the reason it was so good (other half was uber violence). Other smaller issues pop up which again seem to be by-products of films these days. Why is the character of 'Lewis' now a black man? I'm not saying that's wrong but why the need to change that character? is that a PC move? wouldn't a female character create more emotion in a crisis? I realise this film wants to distance itself from the original but changes like this just seem utterly pointless, change for changes sake, there are other important issues to think about. Plus a strong female character works well usually and can be a plus for a film. In fact the whole point of that character seems completely defunct now anyway seeing as he does nothing to aid the new plot, reduced to a background character.

As for Robo himself and the crux of the film, well its a mixed bag really. While the action sequences are very slick and lovely to look at (unsurprisingly) they do come across as any old first person shooter for your Xbox (or Playstation if you're that way inclined). Yes I know it sounds cliche me saying this but I have to because that's what those sequences look like, the infrared shoot out especially with all those colourful cross hairs and readouts popping up everywhere. Robo's HUD in general, while looking very pretty, seemed way too over the top for me. I realise the tech is suppose to be white hot but really? Robo can even tell what emotion a person is going through or about to go through...WARNING: VIOLENCE IMMINENT: THREAT, SUBJECT COOPERATIVE: NON THREAT. Soooo can Robo tell if a piss or sneeze is imminent too? Then you got all that crap going on when he's scanning around as if he can see through everything and project perfect virtual isometric 3D images with measurements and angles etc...come on! all that makes him too powerful, the HUD can do anything!

Its too easy for Robo in this film, he can pinpoint criminals within 10 minutes with his super HUD, no human can make a move in this city without him knowing and sniffing you out sheesh!. Anyway this leads me to the suit, the famous suit, is it better than classic Robo? don't be ridiculous. Now I'll admit it looks better in silver trim of course, we all know that, but that doesn't save it. Overall it still looks plastic to me, close up or from a distance...still looks plastic I'm afraid with no real weight to it either. Its like any modern day piece of electronic equipment really, plastic with pointless LED lights on it. Kinnaman's face is too normal looking if you ask me, wouldn't there be any damage burns or scars?? He doesn't move like a robot either, he just walks around and moves as normal with badly added sound effects that don't sync up. Also he doesn't seem to have any speech issues or twitches or anything, surely you'd have some visual signs of mental stress...apart from crying and grimacing. In short this guy takes to being a head in a jar in a robot very easily frankly, no sweat.

Overall it looks like what we all thought with the release of the first images online, a man in a plastic ripped ninja suit. Of course the human hand doesn't help one bit, I appreciate the idea behind it but no. Its not totally dreadful, his helmet and visor are quite cool with the red Cylon thing going on. What I don't get is the need to give his cheesy Knight Rider rip off bike (it does look bloody awful and babyish, Batbike anyone?) those two daft looking red visor-like slits too, thinking of toy merchandise sales there methinks. One thing I thought of during the infrared shootout was the fact that his red helmet visor kinda gave his position away in the dark didn't it, like a target for his head...shoot me here.

The action sequences are impressive effects wise but that's no big deal these days. Sure ED-209 looks OK and sounds OK but really so what? that's only a small cog in a big wheel, this film could of been so much more. The action hints at being really solid had it been for ADULTS! yes I'm sorry but that's the bottom line. There were some nice moments but they fizzled out under a PG-13 rating which wouldn't allow them to be truly kickass. The only one sequence which comes close to a true adult Robocop moment is when we see Murphy taken apart revealing just a head, throat and lungs. There's also another small moment when we see 'Norton' operating on Murphy's brain...but that's it, that's all we get.

Other than that its really weak in places and really tries too hard...just like Kinnaman who does his best tough guy act at the start which is awful. His Robo effort isn't much better really seeing as he still comes across exactly the same as before he was blown up. There aren't any bad guys in the film either really, think about it, there isn't really  any actual nasty bad guy you really wanna see killed off. 'Sellars' doesn't really feel or act like a bad guy, like 'Novak' he actually brings good arguments to the table about using robots in the US for security, saving more lives overall.

'Mattox' is more of an annoying employee than a bad guy, just slap him, stop being so robophobic against that poor robot fella. The main crime boss and his henchmen are so flippin' weak its untrue, they're barely naughty let alone vicious drug dealers, they don't do anything! On the tiny plus side I did quite like how they tweaked Robo's brain so he could perform better because his human side was causing hesitation (no memory wipes in the future?). Just a shame they spoiled that by having him miraculously override further brain programming by...beats me! the power of love?

Oh and how on earth was there CCTV footage of Murphy's murder? it was on his driveway, what there is a CCTV pointing at his driveway from the street? he has his own CCTV? oh he did it seems, handy.

Its been said before and I will say it again, the film admittedly isn't the car crash I thought it would be, it is a well made sci-fi visually...but its no Robocop film. Had this been a stand alone sci-fi I could look on it more favourably despite similarities. End of the day it still remains a toothless sanitsed, factory production line CGI offering that will be forgotten about within months. The least said about the end credits music track choice the better and at least Jackson got to use his favourite curse words at the very end huh guess that will please the masses (facepalm).

5.5/10