Well here we go again with yet another James Bond parody. Because we haven't got enough of those! But in all seriousness I really find it incredible that they are still able to churn movies like this out, surely they're all the same now??
So in this third outing Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson) has retired from the spy game. He is now a Geography teacher in the county of Lincolnshire in the north of England. But wait! Shock horror! Some crafty baddies are hacking into MI7 exposing all their agents! So with all their top personnel comprised MI7 must fall back on their older agents...and cue Johnny English. Along with his trusty sidekick Bough (Ben Miller), English must now travel to beautiful locations on the continent to track down the source of the cyber hack (one tech baddie and a bunch of butch model-esque henchmen in tight fitting attire).
I think the best aspect of this movie is what we are introduced to right at the start when English and Bough are taken down to the stereotypical MI7 weapons area (with the inevitable, but younger, Q-type character). In an interesting and highly amusing twist the weapons division of MI7 is now a very politically correct area overloaded with typically British health and safety regulations (and boy do we British love our health and safety regulations).
Before English can lay a finger on anything he must fill out all the correct health and safety paperwork making sure all the correct procedures are adhered to. Not only that, MI7 no longer provide their agents with guns or any deadly gadgets. They are now provided with the latest smartphone complete with all the latest apps (ugh!!!). What makes it worse is the smug young, Q-type, tech guy who dishes all this bureaucratic crap out to English. A typical uni student type. This one scene is by far the funniest and most relatable to our modern politically correct nanny state society. We do get hints of this bureaucracy later on in the movie but alas not enough.
As for the rest of the film well its as you might expect really. The story takes place in the south of France so naturally every scene looks like a vivid beautiful picture fit for a Thomas Cook brochure. This also means the picture quality in 1080p is as crisp as fuck (if you're into that), but again what else would you expect? Nevertheless I can't help but succumb to my cynical side and think that all this was merely a lovely free holiday for cast and crew. I mean why does it need to be set in the south of France? Why not somewhere a bit more ominous to ramp up the tension? I mean seriously how about some originality.
Of course not only do we get the stereotypical lavish locales but we also get the stereotypical lavish everything else. What do I mean? Well English chooses to drive an Aston Martin V8 Vantage, because of course. Admittedly there is a cute scene where he has to choose from a large garage of electric hybrid cars (another well-placed jab at modern society), but naturally the garage also just happens to have this one lone supercar ready to rock (groan!). I think having English in a hybrid would have resulted in more laughs myself.
But along with the supercar there are the lavish restaurant locales, a lavish yacht, a lavish Scottish castle, lavish attire for everyone, lavish food and drink etc...Literally everything in this movie is sumptuous and rich. Yes its all part of the plot but it all just feels so dated, so out of touch, and so vomit-inducing frankly. Everything is perfect and shiny it just comes across as...boring I guess. It's hard to explain really.
Yet on the flip side of all the lavish richness on display, there is a crap-tonne of bad effects and obvious greenscreen usage. For every lovely location shot there is a terrible CGI effect or obvious greenscreen sequence. Why would you spend money on shooting in these places if you're just gonna greenscreen much of it? There are some nice gadgets and sets granted but again don't go expecting anything unique here, this is literally all the usual Bond guff all over again.
I can't even praise the comedy or action really. It's all very light-hearted and nothing you're gonna remember the next day. I mean what really stood out here? The inflatable raft getting accidentally inflated inside English's car. The silly gadgets that look like everyday objects. English trying to exit a scene in an ice cool manner by leaping over the side of the lavish yacht only to land on a lower deck. English performs the old 'Mr. Bean eyes' sight gag. The usual pratfall antics in various scenes such as a restaurant. A bomb going off causing English to lose his hearing briefly. It might make you titter a bit but its all pretty basic stuff. They even stole an idea from the original 'Naked Gun' movie.
I guess the one thing about this movie (and franchise) that I don't like is the lack of consequence. This isn't an outright spoof, its an action comedy, but there are no consequences for anything. Yes I understand its a silly comedy at heart but it would work so much better if there were some genuine thrills, tension, or consequences. Shit just happens in one scene and is forgotten in the next, its essentially a cartoon. One sight gag after another.
A good example of how inconsequential and stupid some scenes in this movie can be is right at the end. English has saved the day and is being congratulated back at his school. Before the small ceremony he goes up to his classroom to show his young students all the highly dangerous gadgets he used on his mission. He gets them out and hands them to the students. The students naturally being curious play with the gadgets and almost set some off which causes English to quickly gather them back up. Then the Headmaster comes in and picks up the exploding Jellybabies to eat one.
But what was the point of all that?? Why would he go out of his way to show his young students the extremely dangerous gadgets knowing they would probably play with and trigger them! He gets them all out then has to put them all away again instantly before the kids kill each other. Huh?? Like why?? This wasn't even funny it was just stupid. And then of course there was the cliffhanger, did the Headmaster blow his own head off eating an exploding Jellybaby?
The disappointing thing with this (and I've said this for all three movies) is the original adverts this franchise was based on were so much better, mainly because they were only a few minutes long. This amusing in tiny doses but overall a very dated and unoriginal affair.
5/10
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