Dumbo (2019)

For those not in the know this is a Disney cash grab...sorry remake...of the classic 1941 animated movie surrounding a flying baby elephant. I realise this might read like I'm stating the obvious but judging by the state of the box office for this movie it seems a lot of younger folks might not actually know this. I will also point out I only watched this more out of curiosity as I did grow up with the original and I think its a fine animated Disney film, a true classic.

So in 1919 (yes its a period flick too) a small travelling circus is struggling its way across the US. After a series of recent major setbacks the future is not looking too rosy for Ringmaster Max Medici. But unbeknownst to Medici he has an ace up his sleeve just waiting to be played. His large female Asian elephant is pregnant and will soon be delivering a miracle. That miracle turns out to be a little baby elephant with huge wing-like ears. At first all are shocked by this unusual defect, but sure enough in time the little pachyderm brings much joy and success to all around it.

K the first thing that always bugged me about this movie (yep I'm referring to the original) was the fact that the circus folk (and the other animals) were so shocked by an elephant with large ears. Like seriously what is the deal with that? How is that so shocking? The same can be said for this new movie but on an even large scale. In this incarnation the circus is clearly a bit of a dodgy carnival with bad acts, little fanfare, and little budget. It's not a nasty circus per se, it's just running out of steam. Heck even the freaks aren't real.

Surely in the circus era of 1919 seeing freaks (people with disfigurements, illnesses, wounds etc...) would be a pretty common thing and most probably relished. So the fact that an elephant with freakishly huge ears turns up should fill everyone with joy. Surely this little elephant is a gift from the gods in terms of making money from gullible (uneducated) people. So the fact that Medici acts all horrified and wants nothing to do with it makes no sense at all.

Second point is the Burton aspect. I love me some Burton, oh yes, but was he the right choice for this movie? Yeeeah...not really no. We know what Burton does well and he does still do it well. You all know what I mean by that and you all know what to expect here. This time period and circus setting is indeed perfect for Burton and his kooky visions. Visually everything is pretty slick and inevitably dark looking. Think of all the circus characters in 'Batman Returns' but just more realistic in tone. Except for the obvious and tiresome greenscreen and CGI shots which we simply cannot escape from these days, everything looks really nice here.

Kudos to all the people behind the CGI animal effects as they are actually really really excellent. I was really expecting to see a horrendously obvious cartoonish CGI elephant with big ears but what we get is actually a fantastic recreation of the little animated elephant. Even his big blue eyes look very realistic. I cannot fault the overall motion or look of any of the animals in this movie. Nor can I fault some of the recreated scenes from the animated movie which are, surprisingly, well captured again here.

What I can fault is the overstuffed plot and various pointless characters. Naturally the plot here has been altered to fill out a proper runtime and it kinda works and kinda doesn't. I appreciate what they have tried to do and it does sorta work, but at the same time it really does just highlight how good the original animated film was in its sheer simplicity. The original movie was a bare-bones affair to a degree, very little dialog, characters, or plot even. The movie was only about an hour long for heaven's sake. In this remake they have crammed in a whole load of characters that don't need to be there (Colin Farrell's character). Backstory that is completely unnecessary. Huge action scenes (of course). The classic songs and their sequences are all but gone. And naturally a grand finale in a grand location.

Don't get me wrong I love me some Michael Keaton and I do kinda like his cruel dastardly amusement park owner Vandevere, but what the feck was going on in that last act??!! All of a sudden we're at a flippin' enormous steampunk version of Epcot Centre with a dash of Jurassic Park and The Jetsons thrown in! Clearly this guy has got money judging by the size of his park, his army of employees, and the interior of his buildings (look at his office!!). But that does lead you to query why he would need a flying elephant that much. The other thing that got me was the fact that despite the audience and a rich investor (Alan Arkin) seeing Dumbo fly (granted only for a few minutes), they still weren't happy! The audience wanted their money back and Arkin's character wouldn't invest in Keaton's park! Dude! You literally just saw a flying baby elephant! What more do you need???

Then to really top things off, the heroes try to save Dumbo and his mum from the devilish Vandevere by shutting down all the electricity in his gigantic park. This causes panic all round but it is compounded when Vandevere arrives at his control room tower and starts essentially pulling every lever and pushing every button to try and get things going again despite his men telling him not to because it will overload the system. This then causes everything to apparently catch fire and start to crumble down giving us this immense towering inferno that engulfs the entire park! What. The. Feck. Burton!

Yeah, so it's pretty obvious this would never replace the classic 1941 original, not even close. Like I said I do appreciate what Burton tried to do here but it was always gonna be a losing battle and one that should have never taken place. Clearly they had issues with...everything...and it only goes to prove you don't need to remake everything, especially a classic animated movie that only had a runtime of literally 1 hour. It's not the worst movie in the world no, it's not even close, but it is completely pointless. And with that, I hear by rest my case on the mystery of the continual Disney cash grab phenomenon. Case closed!

4.5/10