Monday 23 September 2024

Blue Beetle (2023)


 













So this new comicbook flick is based on a Latino character? Yes I definitely think he was supposed to be of Latino heritage, a Latino Spanish-speaking character. Yep I definitely got that vibe, so much Latino, you want Latino? You got it here. They didn't even bother with English for much of the movie, it's that Latino-based. Seriously though why do they do this? Yeah I get this new incarnation is Latino but the fact they make almost 100% of the cast Latino, including background characters, and cram it full of Latino culture seems kinda unnecessary frankly. Does it need to be made this way? This top-heavy? As I said this character wasn't even Latino originally, they just race-swapped him.

So I went into this umpteenth comicbook adventure with an open mind as I didn't really know anything about the character. He has a cool name, the movie poster was cool, and I like the retro 80's vibe it had going on. Sure I was also getting some heavy Guyver/Iron Man/Spider-Man vibes but nevertheless, I was intrigued. So it was REALLY disappointing to find myself watching a poor man's Iron Man/Spider-Man flick with a Guyver vibe, ugh!

It's getting really hard to review some of these movies these days because they are all virtually the same and in turn I end up writing the same damn thing! So yes the plot is your standard fair with no surprises. An artifact or mcguffin is found and eventually ends up in the hands of our young hero Jaime Reyes (Jaime and not Jamie? Really?). Said mcguffin attaches itself to our young hero and he inadvertently becomes the Blue Beetle. Low and behold Blue Beetle must battle a company who's director plans on using the mcguffin to help her create an army of super soldier types...geez, haven't seen this before.


















Everything in this movie looks cheap and horribly CGI, everything. The Blue Beetle suit in question is awful looking, like some kind of lowkey mishmash of Guyver, a Power Ranger, and a random cosplay. Seriously it looks like one of the rubbery villain costumes from 'Mighty Morphin Power Rangers'. The suits even acts like the Guyver suit being symbiotic with its host and comes with inevitable Iron Man-esque internal HUD shots. This look approach must have been pinched from the various franchises I have mentioned as the original Blue Beetle was nothing like this, he was more like The Phantom. Oh and he also doesn't like to kill his enemies no matter what they do, so expect lots of throwing moves and the inevitable destruction that usually causes.

Horrible looking hero suit aside what else is there? Well there's the really weak villain combo of Susan Sarandon trying to be bad and her lone single henchman who is also a CGI super soldier (ugh!!!). So yes there are lots of faceless CGI armour-plated Gundam-esque fight sequences that we've definitely not seen before. There's a woeful looking Blue Beetle Batcave/mancave that appears to be a simple backroom with neon blue strip lights everywhere. Oh and the less said about the huge bug-eyed Blue Beetle tank/craft thing the better (get better CGI). Oddly enough the transformation sequence for Reyes into the Blue Beetle was probably the most disturbing thing in this entire movie. It actually looked unpleasant and scary, definitely not a fun ''morphin time'' for this guy.

Jaimes's (Jamie's) family are supposed to be the lighthearted comic relief but are easily the most cringe elements of the movie. Granny with a big-ass gun? Oh please no. Anyway they all speak Spanish, often with no subs, and apparently have no problem killing the hordes of faceless bad guys (seriously how many faceless bad guys?) despite Jamie/Blue Beetle refusing to. Don't get me started on George Lopez's pathetic attempt at being this off-the-wall Danny Trejo-type crazy guy.

Look, Xolo Maridueña is a likeable main hero and his family (cos family) are a somewhat likeable and relatable group. The real problem here is I've seen this movie before, many many times before. There is nothing new here. This movie has a serious lack of good special effects. It relies WAY too much on subpar CGI. There is a huge villain issue in that there isn't a good one. This flick might have been received much better back in the late 90's or early 00's but these days there's far too much competition and it's way better than this. Ultimately this looks and feels like a straight-to-DVD, made-for-TV, Power Ranger knock-off. And I get the character is called Blue Beetle but did we really need all the blue/purple neon lights everywhere? Was the director really going for a certain tacky 90's Batman vibe here or what?

3/10


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