The Octagon (1980)

 

So what have we got here? Chuck Norris vs. ninjas? And with Lee Van Cleef?? Okay, I'm in.

Bare with me, but the plot for this is kinda nuts. So there's this secret ninja assassination training camp just off in the woods somewhere, like off the highway or whatever (lol!). These guys are hardcore. Once you join up, that's it, you're in till death. If you try to leave, they'll kill you, ninja style. Now these ninjas are super good at their day job, they are assassinating various people, including diplomats and whatnot. So what do you do in a situation like this? You seek help from retired Karate champion Chuck Norris, that's what.

I think the funniest thing about this movie, other than the fact that yet again this entire thing looks and feels like a TV movie, or extended episode of 'The A-Team', is the fact that there's this ninja assassin cult in the sticks that no one has ever noticed. In the middle is this large octagon-shaped arena which literally looks like a set, hence the name of the movie (dear lord). But what's also stupid is how convoluted the plot actually is. All this is, is Scott James (Norris) eventually, begrudgingly trying to infiltrate this ninja cult after he discovers his foster brother is the leader. In all honesty, Lee Van Cleef as an old friend merc, isn't required here at all. Plus, the attractive woman who tries to hire Norris (cos her father was killed by the cult), isn't really needed either. 

This is definitely one of Chuck's most padded flicks. This entire movie boils down to Norris vs. the ninja cult, that's it. The rest is utterly meaningless. The actual ninja cult isn't really very threatening because we see all the recruits in training from the get-go. So what we see are a bunch of novice ninjas that clearly aren't too sure whether they made the right decision or not. Their special assassin training seems to revolve around basic exercises and fighting each other with sticks, badly. There seems to be only one actual competent deadly ninja, and that's the main henchman/enforcer who looks way more badass than the rest. The cult leader Seikura(played by real-life martial artist Tadashi Yamashita) isn't really explained, I'm not sure what his goal was and why he's creating this ninja cult.

But yeah, nothing actually happens in this movie for the most part. It's literally just aimless padding, mundane action and pointless dialogue until the finale. Things only really get going when Norris finds the ninja camp and infiltrates it under cover of darkness. This is where the movie finally comes to life, somewhat. And frankly, that's all you want to see for the entire runtime. Yeah sure, he got help from a female ninja who managed to escape the cult, but whatever.

There is an entire dialogue sequence with Norris in a gym. There is absolutely no reason for this whatsoever; it doesn't benefit the plot or anything. It's just Norris, all sweaty, looking buff, doing some martial training in the gym. Clearly in there for Norris to look good and showcase some moves, that's literally it. But this exemplifies this entire movie really, baseless padding just for the one idea of having Norris take down a ninja fortress.

Now the big finale plays out very much like a videogame. Norris essentially has to battle his way through various different stages until he finally gets to meet the final boss, Seikura. At first he must navigate through boobytraps whilst fending off multiple lower-tier ninjas, ninja fodder. Eventually, he penetrates the main hub of the camp and starts to take down more ninja fodder. As you might expect, Chuck finally comes face-to-face with Seikura's lethal enforcer, the only competent ninja in this entire ninja organisation. Now this battle was actually pretty good, hokey as hell, you can see the kicks and punches are going nowhere near their intended targets, but fun nonetheless. Things get really serious when the Katana's are whipped out, this is virtually as good as the movie gets.

This is definitely one of the more engaging concepts for a Chuck Norris action flick, but it's still pretty poor truth be told. Everything is so corny and hokey. The action is fine, but you can see the stunt guys anticipating moves and moves not really connecting. Most of the plot is completely unimportant. Van Cleef was clearly cast just for name recognition as his character wasn't needed at all. There was no real reason for the ninja cult, and Seikura merely had a predictable feud with James from childhood. I mean, I can see how this flick may have influenced many many videogames over the years, but other than that, this movie offers very little other than a semi-decent finale. Oh, and Ernie Hudson is actually in this for about one minute.

5/10