Pain and Gain (2013)

OK lets get one thing straight here, let me clear up a big misconception for you all, weight lifting does not equal fitness. You wanna get properly fit, actually healthy and fit, then you run, you swim, you cycle or you play sports, athletics being the best naturally. Lifting weights may make you look good but it does not make you fit and healthy. You merely pack on weight, down lots of protein shake shit (which is terrible for your skin) and give yourself a possible heart condition because when you start to slow up as you age (and you will slow up, you won't be able to keep it up) all that muscle turns to fat, and all of a sudden, guess what you're fat.

If you're a rich movie star like Dwayne Johnson then you might get away with it for longer for obvious reasons, but for you and me you're just giving your body a whole lot of problems later on in life. So take my advice, from someone who has been a distance runner since the age of 18, you might look good now, but you're not uber fit n healthy and you certainly won't be as you age. I haven't even gone into the drug use temptation either geez!, take note of the over steroid use sequence kids.

So the first lines spoken by Wahlberg's character 'my name is Daniel Lugo, and I believe in fitness' made me laugh out loud. The plot here is truly bewildering, based on a real deal situation where a group of criminals (including weight lifters) got together and decided to kidnap and extort several victims for their assets, this even lead to murder apparently! Annnnnd Hollywood has made a comedy out of it, hmmm, what's next a comedy about a high school shooting?!

OK now I'm not gonna whine on about this, not that much, because this film is actually quite a fun film. The premise is fun in a black comedy kind of way, a kind of mob/gang/heist flick that made me think of 'Get Shorty' for some reason, just not as light hearted. When I say it reminds me I mean the fact both are set in Miami and involve lots of money heists and violence, pretty swish comparison there eh. I won't deny that once again The Rock Johnson brings home a good performance showing that he is actually better in comedy than action (I think).

Wahlberg is also pretty amusing as the fitness obsessed leader of this body building street gang (gang consisting of three). Most of the time the trio are bickering and squabbling over what to do next and how to complete their mission, its actually funny. Wahlberg is good at pushing the others to do bad things whilst always scheming, whilst Mackie isn't as good as the other two big names but his romance with a heavy set white girl is funny. Altogether they are a surprisingly good comedy trio, bordering on slapstick at times.

Shalhoub completes the laughs as the rich Jew these guys are gonna do over. At first you don't really care much for the guy and are kinda rooting for the trio. But in time as the guys wear him down and make him sign over his assets you feel sorry for him. Again he kinda reminded me of the character Dennis Farina played in 'Get Shorty'.

Must point out there is plenty of ass on show here, this is no soft comedy, the girls on display here are so tight n firm oh my!! Bar Paly who plays the main stripper girlfriend for Johnson is so hot I can't even begin to describe in words, just google her.

We lose the 'Get Shorty' type vibe as we near the crux of the plot and towards the finale. Things get messy, bloody and grizzly yet it still retains the comedy, is that right? I was hooked on the plot though no doubt about that, I was genuinely interested to find out what happens, but as things got more and more gory I also found myself not enjoying it as much. I guess the fact the film is based on a real event kinda makes you think whilst watching, should I be enjoying this? sniggering at this morbid spectacle? this actually happened and affected real people, hmmmm.

So the apart from the fact I actually found this kinda fun, the other surprise was the fact its directed by none other than Bay, yes that Bay. This could be his best film to date if you don't count 'The Rock'. It starts off quite amusing, slick, stylish and satirical, visually glossy naturally and highly enjoyable. Unfortunately it does spiral into a clumsy, bloody, violent chase flick that does remind you...oh yeah, this is a Bay movie (although blood is not a usual ingredient). Clearly certain sequences have been blown out of proportion for thrills, loads of artistic license has been used and the fact the plot makes you like the main trio (who are actually killers and the bad guys) is somewhat dubious really.

But all that aside this is still one of Bay's best films for sure, just a shame he can't seem to make a film without some kind of backlash. Usually because his films are terrible and dump on original source material, this time its a morality issue. Oh Mr Bay.

6.5/10