The forehead is back in the biggest load of virtuous DEI filmmaking this side of the Marvel cinematic universe, which universe? I've no idea anymore. With all the technology these days you'd think they could do something about Brie Larson's weird hairline.
So anyway this umpteenth MCU movie essentially revolves around a new team of female superheroes (Captain Marvel, Monica Rambeau, and Ms Marvel) joining forces to take on a very bog-standard baddie, who just happens to also be female, amidst more magical macguffins and space portals. That's pretty much it really, nothing special going on here, heroes vs one villain. The only hook being when one of these heroes uses their (light) powers they instantly swap places with the other, or something like that. This is explained and is predictably confusing to non-comicbook lore folk such as myself. It also equals a very confusing movie with highly kinetic yet highly convoluted action sequences.
I was also somewhat lured into the false sense of security regarding not having to watch the TV series 'Ms Marvel'. Turns out you DO need to have watched that show to pick up on some of this movies plot points. So that's a glaring issue, this movie cannot stand alone. Heck I'm still not sure what Ms Marvel's powers actually are because it's not exactly clear in this movie. All three of these female heroes just seem to be able to do anything required in the heat of the moment.
But what do we actually have? What do we get? Are we offered anything new and exciting? Alas no, what we get is yet another post 'Endgame' mega-budgeted overblown generic superhero flick. All the action generally looks good yet offers nothing we haven't seen before. All your standard CGI fighting with lots of throwing and flashy superhero lighting effects? Check. Big girl boss battle finale? Check. Lots of cringe humour? Check. The whole swapping locations when using individual powers thing was also inconsistent as it didn't always occur. Then there's the obsession with these alien cat things that can, apparently, consume anything of any size constantly, to the point where they get used as a method of transportation.
The main villain is merely another cut-and-paste baddie (who has been gender-swapped) seemingly outta nowhere. Googling this character and the original comicbook version actually looks quite cool and intimidating, but here we have a rather ugly chubby-faced space sorceress type with some silver teeth? Absolutely zero intimidation factor. Apparently she's after Captain Marvel because she caused a civil war on her home planet? It really doesn't seem very important or interesting. Overall I really failed to see how Captain Marvel isn't able to defeat this villain quite easily seeing as she's basically as powerful as Superman.
Then there's the singing planet idea that was so bad, SO bad. It also highlighted to me the rather obvious agenda in this movie which is mostly made up of females and POC. Like seriously I hate to bring this up but...what happened to White males in this universe? Kinda looks and feels like a deliberate move, and why would you do that? Again the mentality of the director and people around her exposed for all to see.
I'm actually getting bored writing this. It's amazing to see how far the MCU has fallen with this offering. This doesn't even feel like an MCU movie, it comes across like a hokey, badly acted, knock-off. A loud generic toy commercial for a new upcoming Saturday morning cartoon which in itself would be a knock-off of something better.
2/10
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