Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Cross (2011)

So can anyone tell me what the hell is suppose to have gone on in this film? wait silly question. So has anyone actually sat down and watched this film?! no wait, has anyone actually heard of this film?? bingo.

Clearly a comicbook stylised film although I don't think its based on anything real, could be wrong. The start of the film shows you this with a little comicbook intro and it does look like it could be some fun, a hidden gem. The plot is daft and something about a Celtic looking cross amulet thingy that gives people power and has been passed down through generations. It ends up in the hands of Brian Austin Green and gives him super powers, mainly strength...oh and some odd green glow side effect too.

Green's character Callen has a team of elite soldiers that work with him regularly to fight against Michael Duncan Clarke who is some kind of criminal kingpin. But then Vinnie Jones turns up as...errrr a viking warrior cursed with immortality and threatens mankind. Clarke and his bad guys join with Jones to take over the world or something like that, they are baddies is all you need to know.

So yeah, Vinnie Jones playing an undead viking warrior who is immortal, has a thick London cockney accent and for some reason is wearing an American 30/40's style bomber jacket. The good guys fair no better, we get no info on any of them frankly, no idea who they are or why they do what they do. They all have stupid names like Shark, Riot and War, presumably code names but they sound like Transformers and we don't get their real names if they have any. The baddie henchmen also have silly names too so I'm thinking this film is trying for some kind of Marvel superhero type angle, cool characters with cool names.

Despite the fact this is clearly a comicbook flick there isn't actually any real special effects or superhero-like sequences. We get some super strength moments from the hero who then shines/glows green and that's it! (the green looks dreadfully tacky too). Its like they have tried to create an awesome Spawn/X-Men/DareDevil/Avengers type film but without any kind of budget...or plot.

The only thing that impresses here is the cast line up. A list of decent characters actors from past and present including Trejo, Sizemore, Jake Busey and Zabka from 'The Karate Kid'. Dunno why Sizemore's character is in this as he only pops up at the start and at the end, even though he's suppose to be after the bad guys and appears to have an important part to play.

You can see this was an attempt at something big but has fallen flat on its face. Incredibly poor B-movie, in fact its films like this that give B-movies a bad image, even as a TV movie it would be bad.