So, once upon a time, back in the year of our lord 1989, a comic rose from the earth and went on to become an underground success. As the comics' influence grew, stronger forces were drawn to it. All that gazed upon its dark glory were beholden to its splendour. In time, these stronger opulent and imaginative forces combined to create an even greater story, a mesmerising dark fable of love and revenge, one that had never been told in such manner. Despite the gallant hero tragically slain, over the years, the fable grew even stronger and gained cult status, slaying all in its path. With nothing to stand in its path, the comic was truly omnipotent. And so the comic became legend, set in stone for all eternity.
It was to no surprise at all that Hollywood would try to expand on the 'Crow' franchise, and thusly we were given three further stories. All of which completely failed, despite the second movie actually being okay in my humble opinion. Nevertheless, Hollywood is a ravenous beast that doesn't let anything go if there is any inkling of money to be made. So it was inevitable that eventually, they would try the impossible; they would try to completely reboot the original iconic Crow movie.
So what have we got here? Eric is a troubled recovering drug addict, of course, and Shelly is now Black, of course. In the beginning, they don't know each other. Shelly is sent some incriminating footage (from a sketchy friend) on her phone and ends up getting pursued by a crime lord and his henchmen. The crime lord has now made a pact with the Devil to supply souls in exchange for eternal life, sure. Shelly ends up getting arrested for possession and sent to rehab, where Eric is. They both fall in love, escape, and then get murdered by the crime lord. And now we have our revenge story.
Yup, they made up a whole new load of guff for this movie. For reasons unbeknowst to most, the folks behind this movie thought the original story wasn't expanded enough, so they fixed it with extra padding. This now means almost the first half hour or so of the movie is all about Eric and Shelly falling in love...and it's boring! They really dig into these two characters to try and make us care, but this fails, mostly because the casting is so bad. Bill Skarsgard as Eric isn't too bad a choice, but his look just feels like Jared Leto's Joker take. They just tried too hard with this character's look. Whilst the connection between Skarsgard and FKA Twigs (eh?) is just poor, they just don't match at all.
I also disliked the main villain here, Roeg played by Danny Huston. This guy has nothing unique about him; he's just a rich suit with a bunch of faceless goons. All the goons are naturally fodder for Eric to chew through, no characters, no originality, just plain goons. These guys could have been in any action flick, stick them in 'John Wick' and they'd be fine. I also felt the supernatural element to this guy was so cliched and unnecessary. I mean seriously, he made a deal with the Devil for eternal life?? Really? It also takes away from the mystique of the crow and its powers. We don't need to know that much about these supernatural forces, and the fact that the Devil exists just goes too far, this isn't 'Spawn'.
Another issue here is the lack of action. Now I'm not saying a movie needs to be balls-to-the-wall action sequences, but this franchise in particular needs action, and to be honest, there is very little here. Eric is mostly quite weak for the most part, even when he's dead, nothing much happens. It is revealed at one point that Shelley had been convinced to kill a woman, by the supernatural powers of Roeg, which puts doubt in Eric's mind. This action leads to Eric getting killed for a second time, and having to convince a spirit in the afterlife to give him another chance. Eh??
Yes, in this movie the power of the crow seems to be handed out, or decided on, by spirits in the afterlife, or this one specific spirit? The entire supernatural scenario is now some kind of deal or agreement between a spirit and the dead person in question. In this case, Eric and Shelley's love had to be pure, that was the deal. When Eric doubted Shelley, the deal was broken, and he lost his power (wut?). I dunno, the entire premise is just too complicated and unnecessary when the original was so simple.
Essentially, nothing much of interest happens until right at the end when Eric storms a theatre and kills all the bad guys. But even that isn't all that great. It's way too slick and relies on CGI blood. Again, it felt like a 'John Wick' movie. The big finale when Eric confronts Roeg in his massive mansion is a total anti-climax too. Obviously Roeg tries to use his Devil powers, but when transported into the afterlife he is easily defeated. The movie ends on such a whimper, then tries to give you something emotional with Shelly that fails, and then tries to leave you open for a sequel! Ugh!
I mean, there is an acorn of promise here, there is a neat idea buried deep within this mess that could have been pretty cool. I don't understand why they had to make this so complicated. I don't understand why they had to add so much unnecessary detail to the supernatural element. What's that famous saying? Less is more...right? We didn't need all this hocus pocus about supernatural deals, spirit guides, deals with the Devil, fight sequences in the afterlife etc...The comic is supposed to be a dark, gritty, gothic, satisfying tale of revenge; whereas this feels like a combination of 'Spawn', 'John Wick', and 'Constantine'.
So the real crime here is the overall lack of gothic visuals, or any decent visuals really. No solid characters, a really lame attempt at recreating a cult soundtrack, bad casting, and no stand-out action sequences. Such a wasted opportunity. The fact that this is the fourth attempt since the original is shameful frankly. It's amazing how the people behind these movies don't understand how or why the original was so good.
4/10
