So what have we here? Another action flick where Jason Statham is a nigh-on invincible super soldier type person? Why yes it is. Funnily enough, this is now the second movie where Statham has portrayed an invincible leader of a specialised crew in an action thriller, and both failed. In 2013, Statham's vehicle 'Parker' was meant to be an action thriller franchise with multiple sequels (presumably challenging Bond and Ethan Hunt). But that movie failed. Now we have this oddly titled action espionage thriller, which was also meant to be a franchise with multiple sequels (to challenge both Bond and Ethan Hunt), and this also failed.
So what is the plot? Well, unsurprisingly its a bit like the 'Mission: Impossible' movies to be honest. Statham is Orson Fortune, an MI-6 super spy, whose mission (which he must accept) is to track down a recently stolen bit of hi-tech kit worth billions. Naturally, he has a team of highly skilled espionage experts to assist, and naturally all manner of double crosses, disguises, and ruses (title of the movie, see, you get it? Eh?) occur as they swan around the globe.
And oh boy do they swan around. This movie really is a complete clone of that certain Tom Cruise franchise. This corny team of super spies (perfectly diverse of course) darts from one lavish destination and location to another. Hardly work for the cast and crew, more like a paid luxury holiday. They drive top-of-the-line vehicles, wear made-to-measure attire, travel in private luxurious jets, and spend a surprising amount of time merely lounging around in the lap of luxury. I never quite understand these movie villains. Here, the main bad guy, Hugh Grant, is so obscenely wealthy that I can't help but wonder why he is even getting involved in all this crime. It never makes sense to me, like, how much money can one person want or even need?
Seriously, this movie takes an age to get going. Most of the movie is simply dialogue in attractive locations with perfect weather. The movie tries to be super smart and dashing with its tech and covert operations, but director Guy Ritchie forgot to include some action for the most part. Any action we do get is strangely muted or edited with cutaways.
Yes I did mention that the director is Guy Ritchie. Now you might think this means the movie will be super cool, and it certainly tries to be, don't get me wrong, but it fails. You see, Ritchie's whole schtick of fast-talkin' cockneys, oddball characters, graphic violence, profanity mixed with cockney rhyming slang, and ice-cold villains, is a little overplayed now. Yes this movie isn't a hardcore graphic adult flick; it has more of a lighthearted comedy angle, but Ritchie is still doing the same old things. Thing is, his schtick doesn't really blend well with this uber slick espionage type affair.
The cast is also a unique selling point with Ritchie, but again, he's just trying too hard. Statham has done this same gig time and time again. The man is like the new Steven Seagal in that he just plays the same type of characters over and over. He's either a super spy, or super military guy, or super special ops guy, or super ex-whatever etc...Then you have Josh Hartnett who is clearly trying to get back in the big movie game, but he's aged badly. Cary Elwes does his usual, old-fashioned, well-spoken, out-of-time Errol Flynn persona again. There's a Black British rapper I've never heard of who you'd swear will have a dirty cockney accent, but he's actually from up north. And last but not least, Hugh Grant is cast against type as an almost nerdy-sounding arms dealer with an even nerdier name, who, in typical Ritchie fashion, is actually ruthless.
I mean, I don't wanna say this but, quite frankly, to sum up, this is essentially a 'Mission: Impossible' clone, but a poor man's version. Put simply, if you like that Tom Cruise franchise, then you will probably like this. This flick is virtually the same spiel, with a bit of 'Fast and Furious' thrown in for good measure. Everything is glossy, slick, shiny, expensive, and in some cases fake-looking. All the cast look California fabulous with tans, flashy attire, fast cars, and all in glorious sunshine glinting off their expensive shades. The plot tries to be clever but is dull and predictable, right up to the inevitable ending that leaves you expecting a sequel. Pure Hollywood nonsense with a stupid title.
5/10
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