Saturday, 27 April 2013

The Last Stand (2013)

He's back, he said he would be back, and he is...and boy is he old!. Yep as old Arnie gets out of his 4x4 police Jeep and strolls in front of the camera in his first movie vehicle since 'T3' we see just how old he is, and no amount of tan makeup is gonna cover it. Seeing this really made me think if Arnie should be doing these types of films anymore, the guy looks like a piece of sun baked leather, and that's thanks to the makeup as I said.

What makes this worse is the fact Arnie plays being an old man to the hilt, he really hammers that fact home in the film. We know your old Arnie, we know you probably shouldn't be doing action films anymore, but no need to really rub it in, your making it worse. The fact that almost everything he does seems to be a stuntman kinda says it all.

So some Drug baron has broken free whilst on a transfer and is making his way to Mexico to get across the border. He's killed tonnes of cops, he's driving a supposedly fast Corvette and appears to be invincible with his legion of gun totting henchmen. Well that's what he thought until he tries to get across the border through Arnie's town, not on Arnie's watch Mr. Yep you guessed it, Arnie and his little band of oddballs will save the day.

The whole film is basically the local sheriff v the bad guys with your obligatory stand off in the main street at high noon type scenario. All the regular cliches, every turn is predictable, faceless henchmen, plenty of shoulders being shot but never anywhere serious for the good guys and the ridiculous sight of old man Arnie fighting someone who knows martial arts. I mean really, this whole idea couldn't be more corny if you tried.

I wanted to like this film but its really so very bland and pointless, it really does feel like a film purely for Arnold to get back in the saddle with. A cobbled together unoriginal plot with whoever they can muster to make an interesting team up with Arnold. How very original to have Knoxville (of all people) play the local town loon complete with jester-like attire, just in case you miss the point he wears an old WWII type aviators hat to round off his eccentric character.

The only thing that did surprise me was the fact the film is actually pretty violent with lots of blood and bullet holes. I thought this was just some dumb spoof/comedy, especially with the idiot Knoxville in it, turns out its a semi serious action flick, if you don't count Arnie hobbling around. I'm a huge Arnie fan and always will be but this is not gonna cut it, its time to stop with the action films as this just feels forced. End of the day its just an excuse for Arnie to shoot people again, but I guess we all knew that. Desperately clinging on to past glory methinks.