Bumblebee (2018)

The sixth (sixth!) installment in this tired crappy epileptic fit inducing CGI fest sees us going back to the 80's. Yes we're going back to the 80's yet again, well a 2019 politically correct revision of the 80's that is. Because we all wanted to know the origins of the Autobot Bumblebee right? Like how he got his name etc...ugh!

The Plot (and a brilliant start!): The story kinda harks back to the original 1986 animated which saw Autobots fleeing Cybertron as the Decepticons gain an advantage in the war. Here we see the Autobots on the brink of defeat and Optimus Prime evacuating his last warriors to other planets. B-127 (Bumblebee) is chosen to go to Earth so he can set up a new base of operations for the Autobots. What follows is a pretty safe stereotypical plot where Bumblebee meets a teenage girl, makes friends, and must stop two other Decepticons from alerting the rest of the Decepticons and bringing them to Earth.

The brilliant part of this movie (as I'm sure most will agree) is in fact the all CGI beginning showcasing the Cybertronian war on Cybertron. This is exactly what we the (original 80's) fans have wanted all along. This sequence was fantastic! Why? Because they actually recreated all the characters and Cybertron as they appeared in the classic cartoon and toy franchises. Cybertron looked like the Cybertron. Prime looked like Prime. We actually got Soundwave and Shockwave looking like Soundwave and Shockwave! And if you paid attention (throughout the movie, not just at the start) we also saw classic characters like Wheeljack, Brawn, Starscream, Cliffjumper, Thundercracker, Ratchet, and a wonderful little sequence with Ravage...including the original transforming sound effect!

I can't stress how much I loved this opening sequence! It looked gorgeous! This was exactly what I've always wanted to see in a modern Transformer movie. The little flashbacks we get from Bumblebee give us some more of these sequences (which eventually gives us Ravage) and frankly that's all I wanted. I had literally no interest in the live action trash that followed.

Live Action Trash: Yep so after the superb all CGI opening we got the rest...and it was just as shit as all the previous Bay garbage. Naturally the lead protagonist is a strong female character, because that's all you're allowed now. Naturally her sidekick is a black guy, because that's the Hollywood standard couple now. Naturally the evil Decepticon was female, becau...ah feck it.

Bumblebee himself looks as he did in the Bayformer movies with minor changes which is fine I guess. Megatron is also not present, so I'm guessing this is for continuity reasons? I'm guessing this movie does tie in with the Bayformer movies?? Like what the hell is this supposed to be?? It hints at being connected...but how can it be??

Unfortunately we still have the same damn issue of the people behind the movie creating new Transformers. Why??? Why do they keep doing this??? I know it's for toy sales but still...just use existing classic characters for flip's sake! There are so many awesome characters to choose from. Stop creating shitty looking new characters! And why do they fire regular human-made bullets?? That literally makes no sense. And why do they know martial arts?? Stop it!

There are other weird and annoying plot conveniences too such as Bumblebee's power core being damaged when he arrives on Earth. But when the girl finds him he's suddenly fine and dandy. So did he recharge or fix himself or something? John Cena's military character is literally the most stereotypically cliched military character you've ever seen with the most stereotypically cliched plot arc you've ever seen. Also when Bumblebee is on Cybertron he's a kickass Autobot warrior. When he's on Earth he acts like a little child or scared puppy...literally. What the hell is that about? A lame way to try and suck emotion from us the viewers as we watch a teenage girl play with her large Autobot puppy? Pfft!

'you sound like a bumblebee, I'm gonna call you that'...What?? Literally what??

And then you have the 80's nostalgia, good God. Both teenage characters bedrooms are like an advertisement from an 80's era Toy 'R' Us advert. That might sound logical but there was just something so clinical about the look, too perfect, too neat, too on the nose. I mean I grew up in the 80's but I never had multiple movie posters on the wall because back in the day movie posters weren't actually a thing you'd have or could get easily (unlike today).

The locations were good I'll give it that. That classic sunny/misty Californian coastal town setting always seemed to suit the era. But just in case you forgot we were in the 80's you had the soundtrack. I think the movies smashes out a classic 80's tune every five minutes or so. Literally every scene change gets a new 80's track, its insane. One after another no matter what's happening, doesn't matter if the songs match the scenes, they just cram as many as they can in.

Is this the Transformers movie we always wanted? No. Is this any different from the Bayformer movies? Not really no. Is the all CGI beginning of this movie what we always wanted? Hell yes! Why are they still making this live action shit? It's definitely the best Transformers movie so far, but it's not got much competition lets be honest. This movie only gets the score it does because of that beginning sequence. Other than that the rest of this movie is the usual bland safe rubbish you've come to expect from movies these days. Watch the CGI start then switch off and ponder what could have been.

5/10