Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

 

As we entered phase four of the MCU and started getting second (third?) tier superheroes that the majority have never heard of, both Marvel and Disney still managed to conjure up yet another overblown obvious CGI/bluescreen filled hodgepodge that felt no different from most of their other offerings. I was shocked! (I wasn't shocked).

So Shaun leads a secret double life if you will, as beneath his humble geeky exterior lies the son of a powerful overlord with God-like powers who runs the Ten Rings organisation. Said God-like powers come from the mysterious ten rings which bestow all the usual stuff like immortality on whoever owns them. Where do the rings come from? Don't know. Who made them? Don't know. Where do their powers come from? Don't know. How has no other Avenger thought to find these up till now? Don't know. How have these things not been mentioned until now? Don't know. Cue lots of family angst, mcguffins aplenty, a generic stage-by-stage mission leading to the big CGI finale, and of course lots of martial arts...because Chinese people!

Yep, for a movie made in this politically correct era I was actually pretty surprised at how many stereotypical Far Eastern tropes there were here. They're all here, dragons, Chinese lions, every single person being able to do martial arts, primitive rural little villages that seemingly spend all day training in martial arts, temples, wise old male Mr. Miyagi type characters etc...I mean I get it's supposed to be based around ancient Chinese culture so that kinda means you gotta have things like I guess, but I'm still surprised that it wasn't picked up on considering when this was made.

But whilst this movie did look admittedly sumptuous, it also looked like every other mystical fantasy historical flick based in Asia that I've ever seen and offered nothing new at all. The whole thing was so visually predictable and cliche Jesus! The entire thing was just a big trope, I felt like I was watching a PG version of Mortal Kombat it was so cheesy. And despite everything generally looking very nice, you still can't escape the nasty obvious looking CGI that we've come to expect within Marvel movies. These effects can range from grounded and cool-looking to plastic and fake-looking in the blink of an eye.

Another problem with these Marvel movies is the fact there doesn't really seem to be any actual stakes at hand. There is never a time when I actually felt worried or on the edge of my seat because I know very well no one of importance will die (and even if they do chances are they'll come back anyway). The whole thing feels so very safe, devoid of any real grit. Case in point, the forest that contained the maze to the entrance Ta Lo which supposedly ''eats people'', well it doesn't. In fact I'm not really sure what the threat was there, the trees just moved and covered your tracks so you would get lost? In the end the heroes just drove through the trees so it didn't seem like they were much of a threat after all.

Basically, for a movie that was supposed to be a kind of break from the norm offering muh diversity and a fresh outlook, it all seemed very by the numbers to me. The main character is of course perfect and invincible offering more powers that seemingly can't be matched by anyone else (especially characters like Black Widow who is merely a regular woman with no powers at all). Not sure how Simu Liu got the part seeing as he's the most generic looking guy I've seen in a blockbuster for some time. Cut n paste Asian guy number #5. ''Aquafina'' or whatever her stupid chosen name is, is predictably annoying and merely offers up stupid lines of so-called comedy. Tony Leung as Wenwu, the main antagonist, looked more like a mild-mannered middle-aged CEO than the leader of a massive criminal organisation. I also found his conflict between finding his wife (known to be dead) in Ta Lo, which is obviously a ruse, and his children rather tepid and forced . A lame attempt at some real emotion within this rather silly and childish comicbook flick.

There are lots of fisticuffs involving throwing people around a lot and getting slammed into the ground which usually gets zero results for anyone. And of course there are plenty of hideous hip-hop tunes because of course there is, modern youth culture. I'm still not sure why the character of Trevor returned here either. What was the point of that? He literally did nothing and offered nothing other than a small moment of continuity from the 'Iron Man' movies. 

Heck, this could have been a neat 'Big Trouble in Little China' type adventure, especially given all the Marvel quirks and comedy that has been its staple for some time now. But alas this is just another limp bland Marvel action & magic flick that feels like a generic brand action figure run at this point. Yes it looks pretty but that's it! There is nothing much here that I really haven't seen before in a multitude of other similar romps (including John Carpenter's 'Big Trouble' which is infinitely better in every aspect). This is the epitome of cookie-cutter or factory product line entertainment.

5/10